Are You Ready for Unexpected Guests?

My Shiny Sink

I am no domestic goddess. It is a well known fact that I have struggled over the years with my lack of care and attention to housework. The thing is, there are 2 breeds of people. Ones who are organised and  great at running a house. They naturally run a well oiled machine of a household. Everything has a place and everything is in it's place. Then there is my breed. I am the type of person who can be sitting on an average Tuesday and see a relative coming to the door uninvited and feel the blood draining from me. You see I'm not comfortable with my lack of cleaning prowess. I want to have a drop in friendly home it's just that it's not my nature to think about cleaning and tidying in a planned way. I am a creative, free spirited person who is often out and about and using my home as a crash pad between adventures.

As I see that uninvited guest approaching or as I get the phone call to say I'll be round in 5 minutes, I find myself scrambling to hide dishes in the oven and ironing in car. Since becoming a mum 4 years ago, I knew things had to change. I couldn't continue my hide my mess lifestyle like a shameful overeater who eats in the wardrobe then hides sweetie wrappers in their knicker drawer (ahem, I mean, who does that?)

Last year I read a blog article by a woman who calls herself FLY Lady. I liked her ideas around creating schedules and thought that this was someone I could relate to. I got a bit sidetracked and ended up forgetting about the website. Over Christmas this year I started reading again and I now find myself transformed and amazed but how easy it can be. I thought I would share with you some of the little changes I have made in the past 4 weeks which led me to the wow moment today. I opened my door at 9am on my day off to an unexpected health visitor who had come to my house to give my youngest son a visual assessment. I hadn't followed my morning routine to the letter as Fridays are our lazy days but my house was clean and tidy enough for me to open my door in my dressing gown to a complete stranger and invite them in. I didn't have to hide anything and I wasn't embarrassed. What a feeling!

Routines
It is the key for me to have a set routine. A time to do things in a day rather than firefighting every corner of the house or dedicating full days to catch up cleaning. Fly lady suggests that you have a morning and evening routine. There are certain things she insists you include but the rest of the routine is decided by you. What I find is that by going through these routines, my kitchen, livingroom, dining area and bathrooms are always tidy and clean. My washing and ironing is kept up to date and I am (excluding Fridays) dressed and ready to start the day. The main take home message is to do as much as you can the night before to prepare for the next day.
Here is my evening routine . . .

• Clean up dinner dishes straight after dinner
• Kitchen - Shine my sink, clean surfaces, put out a fresh dish towel for tomorrow, switch on dishwasher, dash round the livingroom with the hoover (we have a dog and 2 boys so daily hoovering is a must for us.)
• If Steven is home one of us will bath the boys and give the bathroom upstairs a Swish and Swipe round after the boys are out then collect the washing from upstairs and bring it downstairs. The other is doing the pick up and put away anything lying around the livingroom, dining room, conservatory, 
• Clear any hotspots (bottom of our stairs, dining table)
• Put a load of washing on (set the timer to come on so the washing is finished for getting up in the morning). Take washing off the screens or from the dryer and iron if needed (I practice not ironing if I don't think it really needs it)

Tomorrow, Tomorrow . . .

• Check the diary for tomorrow, write a to do list for tomorrow, make tomorrows lunch. 
• Layout clothes, bag, shoes and keys for tomorrow. Think about tomorrow's dinner (do I need to get anything from the shop or take anything out of the freezer?)
• I like to have my shower at night as it's hard to fit this in with the boys in the morning. 
• Have some chill out/downtime then get an early night (in bed no later than 10.30pm)

This takes me about an hour at a leisurely pace to complete this but I go to bed knowing that my house is ready for tomorrow and so am I. My morning routine is shorter as I am organised from the night before. 

My Morning Routine

• Get up before the kids (this isn't always possible but I try and get up at least 15 mins before them) 
• Make bed, this usually means with the dog still in it!
• Go to the bathroom downstairs, get washed, brush teeth, fix hair and make up, give the bathroom a Swish and Swipe, check towels and replace with fresh towel if needed. 
• Get dressed, put shoes on. 
• Fetch washing from the machine, hang it up.
• Empty dishwasher (while the kettle is boiling for my morning cuppa)
• Feed the dog, Sort my breakfast and cup of tea. 
• Get the boys up and let the chaos begin.

From here on the house will become messy with toys and I don't get hung up on that. I am a mother first and always before a housewife. Mess from toys is fine in my book. I know that underneath the toys my house is clean and a 15 mins pick up and put away will clear my floor from the toys madness that my 2 boys create. When/if I get time in a day I set my alarm for 15 mins and tackle a cupboard/drawer to declutter in the current zone I am working on. Over the course of the month the zones rotate around. So it is a little and often approach to decluttering. I have completely decluttered my livingroom and hall as these areas were pretty uncluttered anyway. My next mission is my kitchen and that is going to take more time. I am confident that even if I could squeeze in 15mins, 3 or 4 times a week I could still make a huge difference over time. 

At the weekend I give my house a 1 Hour Blessing where I properly clean my bathrooms, give a big hoover round, clean the floors, dust all rooms, polish my glass doors (although I don't know why I even bother) and change the sheets in the bedrooms. 

I am trying to build in routines to my week like always cleaning out my car on a Friday afternoon when I come back from Nursery and cleaning my fridge on a Thursday when I get my food delivery. I like that you can take baby steps and you can just start where you are. You don't need to over think it too much. 

There is much more than this on The FLY Lady website. I am only getting started. If you are interested in finding out more about Shining you sink, Dressing to your shoes, Swishing and Swiping and House Blessing then check out the links. I can honestly say it is making a huge difference to my wellbeing. I have been off sick from work for 2 weeks and even through illness I have managed to keep on top of things with my hubby following the routines when I was really unwell. I am now on the mend thankfully and looking forward to keeping up the Fly Lady Lifestyle. 

Keep me posted if you try out anything or have any further tips. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Cx 

This is not a sponsored post. I am writing about this from personal experience and have not been paid for my endorsement of Fly Lady.   

What the Facebook photos don't tell you

Someone once said to me "You have a perfect life, I can tell from your Facebook." 

They told me that every time they saw my photos and read my updates that they were envious of me and the life I appeared to be living. 

It was a time in my life when things were really tough. I couldn't allow the outside world a glimpse into what I was really feeling.So in an attempt to hide, I filled my profile with the cuteness of my newborn and the fun family activities we did together. I checked into restaurants and cafes  and wrote about the 'mummy who lunches'. I didn't mention the whole days spent locked in the house because I couldn't bear to leave. The rocking and crying, trying to self soothe while the baby screamed for coming on 12 hours. I neglected to mention the guilt I felt for not feeling lucky, privileged and blessed when everyone around me expected me to. I didn't talk about the sleep deprivation and being up every two hours for the first 6 months, except for the occasional light-hearted comment like 'why won't this baby sleep?'

I didn't check- in when I visited the Post Natal Depression service. Instead I spoke about this new 'creche' I was taking JC to in Edinburgh. During my post counselling reflection time my status update would read 'sitting in Starbucks, enjoying an Iced Frappe'. I didn't think that 'I've just bared my soul and confessed my thoughts to a stranger and now I'm dwelling on what issues I've raised for myself' would be comfortable status for others to read. 

Time wore on, I started blogging, things got better. I was cured. 

Cue the well timed and expected scan photo with the 'We are due baby no 2 in Sept!!' update. 

I'm telling myself that it's going to be different this time. I've moved house, I'm near my family, I have great neighbours, I have more friends around me, I have knowledge and experience, I'm a few years older, my husband has matured and might be in a better place to support me, I have my blog and most importantly, I got through it the first time and felt better on the other side. 

I've been more honest throughout this pregnancy. I've posted more on social networks about the trials and tribulations of my pregnancy, making no bones about the fact that I don't carry babies well. Although I keep healthy and thankfully have no serious issues, I have had the usual pregnancy symptoms which I really don't enjoy. Throw into the mix a very precocious toddler who is testing every last ounce of patience I have left. I probably come across to my FB friends as a moaner but at least it's real. 

I worry about how I will cope with two children. There are days when I feel I am not coping very well with one. I wish I could be more laid back and relaxed. It's just not my personality. I'm trying to juggle a full time career with motherhood. It's not easy and there are days when I wish I could afford to be at home or be more efficient at managing my life. 

I look at the photos of other mums on Facebook and think "You have a perfect life, I can tell from your Facebook." - Ah!

Welcome Home Mummy!

It's been a week of illness for me. Not keeping too well at the moment due to catching a cold/flu bug (the downside of working with children for a living). I managed to go to work but it was a real struggle. I am feeling better today which is just as well because being a mum to a toddler equates with no sick leave.

I have to give him credit this week though, he has been very sweet and well behaved. I think he must feel sorry me! He has started to welcome me when I come from work which is really heart warming. He runs to me as soon as he clocks me coming in, he gives me the biggest bear hug and kiss. Moving his head back from mine a few inches, he looks me straight in the eye with this beautiful smile, which I call his 'love look'. It's like he's seeing me for the first time. Then he says "Love you Mummy, I've missed you, Did you have a nice day being a school girl?"



As much as I go on (and on) about hating working full time, the benefit is the welcome I get when I come home. I think that it makes us both appreciate the time we spend with each other and make the most of the time we have.

Ditching the Driftwood

It's my last day at work tomorrow before I head off to greener grass next term. I have to say I'm feeling a mixture of emotions from anxiousness, uncertainty and sadness to excitement and hope. I didn't think I was someone who clung to people and places. As a student I was always moving on. Flat to flat, courses to courses, part time job to part time job. I was never in one place for very long. However, since I have grown up a bit and become more settled these part few years, I have also become somewhat sentimental. 

I said goodbye to JC's child minder today. She has been fantastic over the past year, a real support to me. She has gone out of her way (or should I say beyond her job description) to cater for us and she has really brought out the best in JC during the time he has been in her care. We bought her some chocolates and I put JC's photo in a frame with a nice little poem. Something along the lines of 'we knew the day would come when we would need to part, but I'll always have a piece of you in my heart'. Something soppy like that! I usually cringe at things these kind of sentimental slogans but I found myself shedding a little tear.

It's the right time to move on. JC is going to be looked after by my friends and family now that I am living and working closer to home and I know that he will be loved and cared for. I know that despite the fact that I will be working more days, I will be travelling less hours and I will hopefully really enjoy the new challenges ahead.

At the moment I find I am clinging on to the nostalgia and sentimentality of the routine, the norm and the familiar. I need to let go a little and adopt the perspective that life is never fixed. It isn't a stagnant pool of water but an ever flowing river. I should stop clinging to the driftwood and just let go and enjoy the rapids.  

One More Step Along the World I Go

WORK IN PROGRESS

I have a new job! I've been looking for a permanent job in the local authority which I now live in for about 4 years with no success. In these difficult times, even teaching jobs are really hard to come by. I have been commuting since my return to work in August and lately it has really started to wear me down. It's a hour each way on a good day but can often by an hour and 20 and that's before dropping Grumpinator at his childminders.

I've really had a lot going on in my personal and work life lately and I don't feel like I can blog about anything that has been upsetting me. This has been really frustrating and the reason for my lack of blogging. I even gave up/temporarily haulted my 366 project 3 weeks ago because my mind just wasn't clear at all.

I had a really awful day a fortnight ago, the details of which I can't discuss but at lunchtime I looked on the job site. I was astounded to see a permanent Support For Learning Teacher job in the council I live in. This is the first permanent job I have seen for about 2 years! I felt like it must be fate but the closing date was the next day.

I frantically filled in the application that night and got my references together. The application went in on time and by the following week I had an interview. I went to the interview on Tuesday and I felt that I had done pretty well considering that since having Grumpinator I've felt a little 'rusty' in the workplace.

Well, an hour after the interview they were phoning me at work. I got the job!

Great!

Brilliant!

Well, actually no.

It is brilliant that I have a new job, in the council I want to work in, in the job I've always planned on sidestepping into, in a lovely school with friendly staff but there is a BUT . . .

It's full time.

Now I know that there will be parents reading this who had no choice or indeed felt it was right for them to work full time so I mean no disrespect to you. I think these decisions are personal and different for everyone.

I suffered quite badly with post natal depression and really didn't enjoy the first year of motherhood so when faced with going back to work, I naturally choose part time. It's worked out OK financially and the 3 day working week was a refreshing balance with family life. I wasn't planning on ever going back full time. Well, at least not in the foreseeable future.

This job is a full time with a half day Friday. I'll still get my oodles worth of holidays to spend with him but I'm scared of losing the precious 'us' time. I've always felt that I had time to make up for with him as the first year of his life with so difficult.

What has made me feel worse is that everyone I've spoken to about the increase in hours has tilted their head to the side, raised their eyebrows and frowned a sympathetic look. I know that these reactions are unconscious and probably a reaction to my own body language regarding it but it doesn't help.

As my good friend Annie told me this week, it's 'one more step along the world I go' and I suppose it doesn't have to be forever. It's just another chapter in the ever changing book of life.

Sick part 3 - 143/366

Still sick. I had to go to work today but didn't want to be there.

Sick part 2 - 142/366

I took the day off today to be with him. He basically lay on the couch or cuddled me all day. Anyone who knows him will know that this is just not like him at all. He is still throwing up and can't hold down fluids.

Sick, Sick and More Sick - 141/366

I was up all night with JC. He was sick everywhere, several times. To the point that he was being sick whilst still sleeping. I still had to go to work as it was our Nursery Open Day today. Daddy stayed off work with him though. 

I'm Ready For School Mum! - 89/366

I took JC into work with me today as two of the girls I work with are going off on Maternity Leave and we were throwing them a surprise baby shower. He was so well behaved sitting through the present opening, I was very impressed! Afterwards, I took his down to the nursery (where I work) and let him play while I tied up some loose ends. I found him sitting in the cloakroom, proud as punch. His little face said it all 'I'm ready for school Mum!'

Sorry these are a bit blurry, I missed the photo opportunity so I was trying to get him to sit still again - which never happens!

Total Wipeout - 73/366

By the time we reach Wednesday he is totally shattered. Art Attack with Granny Duncan on Monday, playgroup with his childminder on Tuesday and then soft play with Gran McLean on a Wednesday. By the time I come home he is totally wiped out!  

I'm Having a Duvet Day - 73/366

He just didn't want to get up. He is now sleeping with a pillow and he is finding it super comfy. I hate having to wake him up early on a Tuesday to take him to his childminder. Up at 7am, out the door for 7.15am, arrive at the childminder's house for 8am. He loves it when he gets there though! 

Kisses for Mummy - 46/366

JC has not seen much of me the past few days but thankfully I'm now on holiday until next Tuesday. What I love on my working days is having a 'daft half hour' at night where we have a carry on, kisses and cuddles. He loves sitting or should I say bouncing on me at the moment.

Here are some of our 'fun times' ...

Red Sky in the Morning - 38/366

Shepherds Warning!

It's been so cold today. I took this in the morning while sitting in traffic during my 1h 20min commute. At least the sky is pretty to look at when it's gridlock again!

A Stolen Moment - 24/366

Little Grumpinator is feeling a bit under the weather today as he has a cold. He was very clingy when I got home from work and was giving me lots of cuddles. Hubby caught this one on his phone for me . . .

I'm not a bad mother, just sometimes a useless one.

Ok, so that title is a little over dramatic.

Some days I feel like that though.

I'm guessing that a lot of parents have their off days.

For me, I feel useless when I forget something vital like my spare nappies in his bag or his bib for lunch when we are eating out (because I am human and busy).

Or when I take my attention off him for that moment when he decides to get the courage to climb up on his high chair and dive off landing face first on the laminate (because I am human and busy and he is an independent and fearless child).

Or when I take him to The Ceramic Experience (one of these 'my baby just loves to be creative and do hand prints on ceramics' type of places) and he screams and cries because he would rather be running around the shop or playing in the soft play (because he just isn't ready for this yet and I have too high expectations).

Or when we go to Mothercare with JC on reins and he spends the whole time straining and pulling in the opposite direction and giving the occasional protest shriek. Whilst passing mother's with angelic textbook children who roll their eyes in disapproval (because he is a spirited child and they obviously have no idea what it's like to raise one, either that they have a crap memory).

Or when I lose my temper and shout at him because after 3 attempt to pull my straighteners cord from my hand he manages to get it from me and it lands inches from his hands (because I am human and because I was so scared that he had hurt himself).

These are just a few isolated examples of course and the Mummy guilt goes a lot deeper than what I've listed here.

Some days I think I am doing a great job and that he is the most adorable little person on the planet but then I have an off day like today and I wonder if I actually have a clue about motherhood. But even on these days, I still love him and I still think he's adorable and I still thank my lucky stars that I have him in my life.

A Productive Week - R2BC

It's that time of the week when I tell you what I'm doing cartwheels about or what I am mildly amused by. So what am I cheerful about this week?

1 - It's been a productive week. I've managed to get all my school work done for next week before actually leaving work on Wednesday (which must be a first!) I also managed to get my housework done today so that I can enjoy my weekend without the pressure of chores! So I am really pleased that my time management plan is paying off. 

2 - I went to a new soft play centre today with my Friend and her son (who is a similar age to JC). We all had great fun and it was lovely to watch JC charging around the soft play. He is such an active boy and he loves climbing so it really was a perfect place for him. We also spent a good deal of time outside in the garden today (the first time he has been in the new garden) and it was refreshing to get outside for change. 

3 - Today is the first day, since the Christmas period began, that I have not eaten any junk. I am feeling the withdrawal effects already but I am very proud of my willpower. I know that a few days 'detox' will make me feel 10x better. Once the taste of chocolate leaves my memory it won't have the same hold over me!

Hope you have all had a good week. I would like to welcome all the new readers who have been popping by over the past few weeks. It's been lovely reading all your comments and getting to know so new fabulous bloggers. 

I've Missed You Mummy - 9/366

It was my first day back at work today (I am a school teacher so I am lucky enough to have longer holidays). My wee man didn't want me to go today and when I dropped him of with his fabulous childminder he had a little 'Grumpinator' style tantrum. As soon as we got home tonight all he wanted to do was curl up on my knee and have a cuddle. 

Happy New Year and Blog Birthday!

A happier family unit this year

I've been offline for a while. With the move and the run up to Christmas I couldn't find the time or inclination to blog. In a way I guess that's a good thing. There was a time when blogging was all the got me through the day. A bit like therapy, I needed the support and outlet it gave me at a time when I felt isolated and overwhelmed with the realisation of how hard motherhood really is, especially in the early days.

We had a wonderful, relaxed Christmas at home with our families close by and it gave me a chance to stop and take stock of just how
far we, as a family, have come in the last year.

Putting on a brave face, this time last year

This time last year I was crying everyday for, what to others, seemed like no reason at all. JC or Grumpinator as he was known at the time, was also crying every day. It seemed like that was all he did although by Christmas the occasional smile was bursting through the pain of colic and reflux. We were living about a 40 minute drive away from both our families and although this really isn't that far, being out of the house was torture for me this time last year and the thought of driving round visiting everyone filled me with dread.


One of the main problems I was having was that I felt like I had nothing to say to anyone. I would be sitting with my family and close friends, who know me as a complete chatterbox and I couldn't think of anything interesting to say at all. I wasn't really interested in hearing about other people, which being quite nosey is unusual behaviour for me. I looked around at my other friends and online at my Facebook friends who had small children of a similar age and was envious of the fun and enjoyment they were getting out of the festive period with their new arrival and wondered what the hell was wrong with me? Why can't I be 'full of joy' and 'overly happy' like all the other mums.

It was a uncomfortable and awful time for me and I didn't make it easy for my friends and family to support me. The turning point really was Christmas day because it had always been my favourite time of year. I realised then that I wasn't well and that I needed to help myself if not let someone else help me. So I did.

October - Just before our move and I was feeling fab! 

I started blogging on New Years Day. I had tried in the past and always got bored and fed up with it but this time was different. I made friends quickly and I found out that I wasn't the only one feeling how I felt. I have made some really good friends this year through blogging and was able to meet some of them at CyberMummy. I started going for counselling with a charity called CrossReach and started feeling better in myself. JC started sleeping through the night which really helped my mood! We went abroad loads this year to Ireland, Czech Republic (twice) and to Florida. I grew closer to my family from spending so much time with them and have a much stronger relationship with my in laws now after spending 2 weeks away with them. I went back to work, an emotional experience but I soon got used to it and now I love working part time. We then moved house to be closer to our families which was a huge step for us. My blog suffered as I started spending more time going out and about with JC on my days off.

My beautiful smiley boy eating his Christmas Dinner!

This Christmas I feel vastly better than I did last year. I wouldn't say I'm back to the old me because I don't think that's possible. Motherhood has changed me and I am still learning to adjust but I love being a mum and I am so proud of my son and what a lovely boy he is becoming. I am excited for the year ahead. I look forward to another year of happiness with my boys, my dogs and my blog. Last year was all about adjustment to family life and motherhood, learning to cook, clean and grow up. This year I will be making sure that I look after myself too. I intend to keep blogging regularly so I hope you stick around to see how my life pans out in the coming year.

If you are a regular reader then thank you so much for your support this year and I hope you keep popping by to say hi. If you are new to my blog then please stick around, it would be lovely to get to know you!

Happy New Year! 

Letting go of the Mummy Reins

I took this picture on my day off last week when we went out for a nice winter walk

It's been a big adjustment going back to work and my main expectation was that my biggest problem with being a working mum would be that fact that I would miss him. I worried about missing out on the big moments, the 'firsts' that might occur when I was out at work.

I'm only working 3 days a week and I like the balance. I do miss him but I find that I am so busy fitting everything into my reduced week that I rarely have time to worry about it. As yet, I haven't missed any big moments as most of the really 'big' things like first steps and words have already happened. So imagine my surprise when out of the blue this week I end up in tears again over this subject.

I didn't expect this to upset me but it did.

Here is some background  - My Mother in Law does some of my childcare and a childminder does the other days. I guess I haven't been spending as much quality time with him as I usually do due to the move, working and finishing up with the band. So here's what happened.

At the weekend, he fell and hurt himself and when I was trying to comfort him he started pushing me away. He didn't want me to comfort him, he wanted his Gran. He has spent a lot of time with her this week and the relationship between them is really strengthening (which I love and encourage but it still pulled at my heartstrings when this happened).

Then after I had been out working all night in the band and I didn't see him for over 24 hours he didn't really care when I walked in to pick him up. He just giggled and ran away. He used to run to me and give me hugs. He used to light up when I entered the room but that seems to have gone.

Then today I went to pick him up from the childminder but when he saw me he started crying. He knew I was there to pick him up. He didn't want to leave. When I tried to get him in the car he took a huge tantrum. I cried all the way home in the car, big sobs. I feel like I am losing my special relationship with him and I don't know why or what to do about it.

I suppose I could look at it in a positive way. I can be thankful that he has really strong relationships with other important adults in his life, that he is secure enough to know that I am coming back, that he doesn't cling around my leg as I'm leaving which would subsequently fill me with guilt for the rest of the day. I suppose I should think that this is temporary and that when I move house I will have more time to spend with him. I should focus on those times when he gives me the 'love' look, gives me kisses and hugs me when he is tired. But it's hard and I'm struggling to come to terms with my feelings. So after his bath when we sit in our rocking chair with his milk and story, I will be holding him a little closer tonight.

Keep your Moans in Perspective

I felt like moaning today.

Let me paint you a picture . . .

We're moving house and it's all very chaotic. Every box I pack, JC is right behind me pulling out whisks, spatulas and other household objects. 

JC is climbing, he loves heights, I am trying to run around behind him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

I'm back at work and I've had parents nights this week - always a stressful event for any teacher.

My band is 'breaking up'. Okay so it's not on a Westlife or Take That scale but it's still full of emotions and crushed feelings. It's all very disappointing and sad. 

JC keeps feeding Kaiya. She has a sensitive stomach so now she is vomiting up JC's snacks all over the house. He could be a ninja, he's so sneaky. 

Some evil person hacked Hubby's XBox account and run up £170 of purchases until we figured out what was happening. Not a great time to lose money when every penny is being counted for our move.

My husband thinks that the best contribution he can make to the move effort is to play his new XBox game upstairs in the bedroom as he is 'keeping out the way'. Saying that he did do the garden today so he might have to take the rest of the week off. 

But, I have plenty to be cheerful about too. 

I have a beautiful child who is happy, healthy and full of spirit. 

I have a husband who cares about me and looks after me. At least I know he is upstairs playing computer games and not down the pub getting up to who knows what. (He also makes a great cup of tea and he makes me laugh)

The stolen money will be replaced by Microsoft eventually, it's a short term problem. 

I have a large, loving family who support and help me by listening to my moans. 

I am moving to my new house next week and everything is signed and sealed. 

I have a secure job that I enjoy. My school kids are like my adopted children and I love them all very much. Parents night is a great night to hear about how parents and children appreciate the work I do. 

Kaiya will recover once JC learns that he can't feed her, this like all stages will pass. 

The band has been a source of great anxiety, time and pressure in my life and I will notice a positive difference when it ends. 

See, I feel better now. It's all about perspective. 

Check out more cheerfulness with Michelle's Blog Hop being hosted by Kate this week.