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| A happier family unit this year |
I've been offline for a while. With the move and the run up to Christmas I couldn't find the time or inclination to blog. In a way I guess that's a good thing. There was a time when blogging was all the got me through the day. A bit like therapy, I needed the support and outlet it gave me at a time when I felt isolated and overwhelmed with the realisation of how hard motherhood really is, especially in the early days.
We had a wonderful, relaxed Christmas at home with our families close by and it gave me a chance to stop and take stock of just how
far we, as a family, have come in the last year.
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| Putting on a brave face, this time last year |
This time last year I was crying everyday for, what to others, seemed like no reason at all. JC or Grumpinator as he was known at the time, was also crying every day. It seemed like that was all he did although by Christmas the occasional smile was bursting through the pain of colic and reflux. We were living about a 40 minute drive away from both our families and although this really isn't that far, being out of the house was torture for me this time last year and the thought of driving round visiting everyone filled me with dread.
One of the main problems I was having was that I felt like I had nothing to say to anyone. I would be sitting with my family and close friends, who know me as a complete chatterbox and I couldn't think of anything interesting to say at all. I wasn't really interested in hearing about other people, which being quite nosey is unusual behaviour for me. I looked around at my other friends and online at my Facebook friends who had small children of a similar age and was envious of the fun and enjoyment they were getting out of the festive period with their new arrival and wondered what the hell was wrong with me? Why can't I be 'full of joy' and 'overly happy' like all the other mums.
It was a uncomfortable and awful time for me and I didn't make it easy for my friends and family to support me. The turning point really was Christmas day because it had always been my favourite time of year. I realised then that I wasn't well and that I needed to help myself if not let someone else help me. So I did.
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| October - Just before our move and I was feeling fab! |
I started blogging on New Years Day. I had tried in the past and always got bored and fed up with it but this time was different. I made friends quickly and I found out that I wasn't the only one feeling how I felt. I have made some really good friends this year through blogging and was able to meet some of them at CyberMummy. I started going for counselling with a charity called CrossReach and started feeling better in myself. JC started sleeping through the night which really helped my mood! We went abroad loads this year to Ireland, Czech Republic (twice) and to Florida. I grew closer to my family from spending so much time with them and have a much stronger relationship with my in laws now after spending 2 weeks away with them. I went back to work, an emotional experience but I soon got used to it and now I love working part time. We then moved house to be closer to our families which was a huge step for us. My blog suffered as I started spending more time going out and about with JC on my days off.
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| My beautiful smiley boy eating his Christmas Dinner! |
This Christmas I feel vastly better than I did last year. I wouldn't say I'm back to the old me because I don't think that's possible. Motherhood has changed me and I am still learning to adjust but I love being a mum and I am so proud of my son and what a lovely boy he is becoming. I am excited for the year ahead. I look forward to another year of happiness with my boys, my dogs and my blog. Last year was all about adjustment to family life and motherhood, learning to cook, clean and grow up. This year I will be making sure that I look after myself too. I intend to keep blogging regularly so I hope you stick around to see how my life pans out in the coming year.
If you are a regular reader then thank you so much for your support this year and I hope you keep popping by to say hi. If you are new to my blog then please stick around, it would be lovely to get to know you!
Happy New Year!
