I had a pretty sizeable bump during both of my pregnancies. In fact this photo was posted a year ago today when I was 33 weeks pregnant with JBoy.
I never felt the need to hide my bump. In fact, strangely enough, I had more body confidence when I was pregnant than I have ever had in my life. I wish I could bottle that! I think it is important to still dress well and take pride in your appearance as much as possible during pregnancy. I mean, we all love to slob around but there are times such as work and nights out in those 9 months which call for more than an oversized t-shirt and leggings, comfy as they are.
Although I believe in dressing the bump, I do think that that spending a fortune on maternity clothes is completely pointless. I loved George at ASDA for maternity clothes. They not only stock the basics but some on trend items too. At the moment they have a beautiful maternity summer collection for those poor souls carrying around a bump in this heat. Here are some of my favourites . . .
£10
Who doesn't love zebra prints. They are everywhere! I love this cute little summer dress, a steal at £10 in sizes 8 - 20.
£12
£18
I love their floral dresses too. Great for day through to evening wear. They wouldn't look out of place in the office or in the bar (with a soda water and lime!)
£12 for this pink and black sleeveless dress is a great price. Even though the price is cheap, doesn't mean the product is. I always find the quality is very good and the durability is far better than other discount clothing lines.
Was £14 - Now £5
Get your money out of this dress if you are thinking about breastfeeding because wrap dresses are a girls best friend when you are trying to whip out your boob in public whilst balancing a newborn on your knee and trying to maintain your modesty. The plunging neck line is great for those oversized pregnancy/breastfeeding breasts and the pattern on this particular one is very flattering. I love this dress, a steal at £5 down from £14.
Overall I am extremely impressed with George at ASDA's maternity range in terms of price and style. A tip though, you need to be quick when ordering online, as certain sizes often sell out which is testament to the appeal of these items.
3 years! I can't believe that it has been three years since the birth of my Grumpinator Blog! What a journey we have been on together. Last year I did a round up of the year so I thought I would do the same this year. Thank you so much for supporting this blog by visiting, reading and commenting. Although I love writing, it just wouldn't be the same without an audience so thanks to all my readers!
January
In January I wrote a post about John Connor's toddler tantrums and the trials of being a working mummy. This was the month I found out I was pregnant so I was quite tired and ill for most of January. John Connor has made the months fly by during this pregnancy as I have been too busy dealing with him to focus every aspect of the pregnancy.
I wrote about the trials of being pregnant. I don't do pregnant very well, it's really not enjoyable and I am glad that I will never be going through that again now that our family is complete! Both my boys were worth it though!
April
This month saw me turn 30! Geez I feel old. I was so incredibly busy in April that it was the only month this year that I didn't actually manage a post! I was jetsetting to York with one of my best friends and to Benidorm for a hen weekend. It was a fab month and I was totally spoiled by friends and family. My husband took me to the Caledonian Hotel in Edinburgh for the night (a bucket list dream of mine!) and it was just perfect. I was too busy living to blog and I don't feel guilty for that!
It was also a month of extreme lows. My grandfather passed away, the first death in my immediate family and my friend's mum passed away the same week. It was a very emotional time for my family and I couldn't have got through it without the love and support of those around me.
I think at some point I should back blog this month because at the time it was just too raw.
May
My dear husband joined the 30 club. I posted this blog post about my JC's conversation skills. He has a really good vocabulary and was/still is obsessed by dinosaurs. I wasn't sure what to tell him about great granddad. He has an interesting take on death as you can see from the video here, brings a tear to my eye. This was also the month of successful toilet training!
June
I wrote one of my most honest and raw posts in June about the fakeness of Facebook It certainly got the attention of my facebook followers and is the post I had the biggest response to this year. It was a pretty quiet month, getting sorted for my busy summer ahead and tying up loose ends at school.
July
July saw me bravely go on two holidays abroad (Gran Canaria and Czech Rep). We had a fab time and it was lovely to spend some quality time together as a family of 3. The only post I wrote this month was a post about breastfeeding. Funnily enough, someone on my Facebook page found this photo highly offensive so just for their benefit I'm posting it again . . . Enjoy ;)
August
August saw my little Grumpinator turn 3 and start nursery. I was starting to gear up for the new arrival in September. In preparation I wrote a birth plan. It did actually all go to plan, just not as quickly as I would have liked!
September
I gave birth to my second beautiful boy, Jamie Alexander Douglas McLean. 10lb 8oz of gorgeousness. I didn't manage to give birth to him on Friday the 13th, missed it by a day! I think his blog name should be Laid Back JBoy because he is so calm and chilled!
October
It was a pretty eventful birth story and it has taken me a while to recover from it. I am still dealing with issues surrounding the birth. I spent most of October in a haze! I'm dealing with PTSD from my post partum haemorrhage and I still don't like going in the shower. 3 months on and I'm still getting flashbacks, I'm hoping I can deal with that this coming year. November
I wrote about dealing with colic, bottle v breast and post natal depression. For some reason it seems to have a grip of me again but I'm getting there! I'm working through my anxieties and worries and I know there is a brighter tomorrow. It's even more difficult this time round as people look at me like I'm crazy. With John he was such a needy baby that everyone could understand my low mood but Jamie is so chilled that people question how I can possibly feel down. I know all this but I'm not in control of my emotions at the moment. It's like living with a black dog constantly circling round my ankles with it hackles up. I am trying to tame him.
I really wish that I had blogged about our Elf Buddy who stayed with us all of December as he was so entertaining! Another back blog I think!
It's been some year! I haven't blogged nearly as much as I would have liked and I hope to remedy that this year. I hope to have a bit more time to blog when Jamie starts playing more and needing less of me in the coming months. I'm not making resolutions this year but I am focussing on two words . . .
Friday the 13th might be unlucky for some but certainly not for me.
I was born on the 13th and JC was born on Friday the 13th at 13.21, in room 13 after 13 hours of labour and placed in cot number 13. When I transferred to the ward, I was in bed number 13. Coincidence?
When I found out I was pregnant I did the mad dash to the calendar to work out my due date (which was originally the 10th but was later changed to the 5th after my scan). Imagine my surprise when I realised that the month of September had a Friday the 13th. When my due date was moved to the 5th, I was slightly disappointed as I couldn't see me being that much overdue.
But here I am. Entering 41 weeks and Friday the 13th is eagerly approaching. We had a wee false alarm last night. We got a little excited as I was contracting all day at 20 mins apart but nothing came of it. We even double checked the bags before bed and asked my mother in law to keep JC overnight. I woke up this morning with a sense of disappointment and frustration. I was a day early with JC so I didn't have the build up of anticipation to the degree I have this time.
The problem is, the longer I have to think about it, the more I build up anxiety and nervous energy. I am trying to keep calm and positive and push my fears, both rational and irrational, out of my mind but that is getting increasingly harder by the day. I just hope that my superstitions are fulfilled and that by Friday I am holding my baby in my arms after a safe passage into the world.
Next post will be a birth story . . . I'll keep you posted!
Someone once said to me "You have a perfect life, I can tell from your Facebook."
They told me that every time they saw my photos and read my updates that they were envious of me and the life I appeared to be living.
It was a time in my life when things were really tough. I couldn't allow the outside world a glimpse into what I was really feeling.So in an attempt to hide, I filled my profile with the cuteness of my newborn and the fun family activities we did together. I checked into restaurants and cafes and wrote about the 'mummy who lunches'. I didn't mention the whole days spent locked in the house because I couldn't bear to leave. The rocking and crying, trying to self soothe while the baby screamed for coming on 12 hours. I neglected to mention the guilt I felt for not feeling lucky, privileged and blessed when everyone around me expected me to. I didn't talk about the sleep deprivation and being up every two hours for the first 6 months, except for the occasional light-hearted comment like 'why won't this baby sleep?'
I didn't check- in when I visited the Post Natal Depression service. Instead I spoke about this new 'creche' I was taking JC to in Edinburgh. During my post counselling reflection time my status update would read 'sitting in Starbucks, enjoying an Iced Frappe'. I didn't think that 'I've just bared my soul and confessed my thoughts to a stranger and now I'm dwelling on what issues I've raised for myself' would be comfortable status for others to read.
Time wore on, I started blogging, things got better. I was cured.
Cue the well timed and expected scan photo with the 'We are due baby no 2 in Sept!!' update.
I'm telling myself that it's going to be different this time. I've moved house, I'm near my family, I have great neighbours, I have more friends around me, I have knowledge and experience, I'm a few years older, my husband has matured and might be in a better place to support me, I have my blog and most importantly, I got through it the first time and felt better on the other side.
I've been more honest throughout this pregnancy. I've posted more on social networks about the trials and tribulations of my pregnancy, making no bones about the fact that I don't carry babies well. Although I keep healthy and thankfully have no serious issues, I have had the usual pregnancy symptoms which I really don't enjoy. Throw into the mix a very precocious toddler who is testing every last ounce of patience I have left. I probably come across to my FB friends as a moaner but at least it's real.
I worry about how I will cope with two children. There are days when I feel I am not coping very well with one. I wish I could be more laid back and relaxed. It's just not my personality. I'm trying to juggle a full time career with motherhood. It's not easy and there are days when I wish I could afford to be at home or be more efficient at managing my life.
I look at the photos of other mums on Facebook and think "You have a perfect life, I can tell from your Facebook." - Ah!
It's been a bit of a battle with my skin really since falling pregnant the first time with JC. I'm quite lucky in that I'm not overly susceptible to stretch marks (apart from the ones I already have through weight loss and gain) but I have much drier and irritated skin in certain areas. The worst area is my hands as they are in water so often. I blame the anti bac gel I used when JC was a tiny baby. It really dried out my skin as I think it was just too harsh for me.
I was recently asked to review two skincare products by Vaseline. The first product was a Cocoa Butter Oil Gel. Brimming with Brazil nut oil to lock in moisture and paired with almond oil which its natural minerals and antioxidants to keep skin pampered, it is full of oiliness to soften even the toughest of skin. Coleen Rooney has recently mentioned this product as one of her pregnancy must haves to keep her skin in tip top shape. It retails at £5.10 which I think is a really reasonable price.
The first thing I noticed about this product was the gorgeous smell. One of my kids at school even commented on the smell several hours after applying. She thought I was wearing sun cream as the smell is one of summer days and not too far removed from that delightful coconut smell you find with most sun creams. You only need a small amount and I can imagine that the generously sized bottle will last a while. I have used it for a week and there is only a small amount gone from the top of the bottle. My only issue with it is that it is quite oily and takes a while to absorb into the skin. The first few days of use were through the day but then I changed to using it at night which was better. It is perfect for those areas that are really dry. It worked wonders on my crocodile skin on my feet and legs! I would recommend this product and will buy it again but would probably use it on certain target areas.
The second product was a revelation for me! As a mum and a primary school teacher, I come into contact with many bugs that transfer on hands and surfaces. My hands are not able to cope with the strength of some anti bac gels and constant hand washing isn't good for me either. Vaseline's 2-in-1 Hand Cream + Anti Bac is the answer. It combines 5 moisturisers with a germ sanitiser which keeps hands protected from germs whilst keeping them super soft. Unlike most of the other hand gels and anti bac creams I've tried, this one doesn't dry out my hands and its smells lovely. It's in a handy wee bottle and I have taken to carrying it around in my handbag. It will be a godsend when the baby comes along too. It's only £3.29 and both products are available from leading supermarkets including Superdrug and Boots.
Overall, two fab products which will hopefully keep my skin glowing throughout pregnancy and beyond. I would recommend both although the hand cream is my personal favourite!
This is not a sponsored post, I received a free sample of the product but all comments and opinions are my own.
Okay, before you start reading I must disclose that this may come across as a ranting post and there may be some bad language. This post has been sitting in my drafts folder for a while now. I keep adding and tweeking bits. Let me start at the beginning, my first pregnancy.
38 weeks preggers and about the size of a bus!
I have always been chubby and over the last few years I have been clinically obese. I am very short (just shy of 5ft and although I am a size 16-18, my height means my BMI is always high. Even when I was a size 12 at 10 stone I was classed as overweight. In desperation to fall pregnant I took some protein shakes as part of a food elimination/VLCD diet. It worked and after 3 weeks of drinking nothing but milkshakes I was almost 2 stone lighter and pregnant. Nobody mentioned my weight at my prenatal check ups. I went on to lose more weight in my pregnancy due to constant morning sickness.
2 weeks before I was due to give birth I was speaking to my midwife about my birth plan which was always planned as a water birth. She then said 'you can't have a water birth, you're too overweight'. I was 1 BMI point over the threshold that they set for water births. She then went on to tell me that I would have to been constantly monitored and that I really should of been under consultant care throughout my pregnancy. I was reeling! I asked her to justify this to me, why could I not have a water birth? What did my weight have to do with that? She told me that the reason for this was that the nurses weren't insured to pull me from the water should I need assistance as I'd be too heavy.
Well, this set me off big time. It was big tears and snotters. What I couldn't understand or get across was the fact that someone who was 1 inch taller than me could be the same exact weight but would be classed as healthy and allowed to have the water birth. I just didn't feel heard. I was forced into choosing between a closely monitored hospital birth or a home birth with my own birthing pool. This was a no brainer for me. Home birth it was although this caused much tension between me and my family. Although my Mum was supportive, nobody else was behind my decision and everyone thought I was mad. As it happens I ended up transferring to hospital as my blood pressure was elevated. This was not weight related. I had none of the risk factors associated with being overweight and pregnant. I kept extremely well throughout my pregnancy. My labour went without a hitch (excluding the BP). Looking back I have perspective on it but it still angers me.
I went to the doctors today to get the results of some bloods I have had taken recently. The Doctor gave me a really hard time about my weight and said my BMI was 'ridiculous'. He was reading out my results and said that my cholesterol was perfect, sugars were perfect, thyroid perfect and that he actually couldn't believe how healthy I am considering the way I look (what he meant was what my BMI is). I discussed with him the fact that we want another baby and he just looked at me with disdain. He left me with the thought that I am too fat to give birth and that falling pregnant would be selfish and I'd be putting myself and my baby in danger. I wanted to shout 'what an arsehole!' 'Who do you think you are!' or 'Go F*$k yourself' but I just could even speak. My heart was heavy and I just got out the room as quick as I could.
*Edit* Since writing this post 5 years ago, I went on to have another baby. I didn't lose any weight but I did get fit. I walked more regularly and I improved my diet but didn't go on a diet. I had a problem free pregnancy, a trouble free labour and produced another beautiful, healthy boy. My struggle with the NHS/BMI didn't stop I'm afraid but I was stronger and more vocal second time round. You can read my about my epic 2nd birth story here. I had to fight to be midwife led second time round and not in consultant care but I got my own way! Never give up fighting. Thin doesn't mean healthy. I may be large but I am fit, healthy and strong. My body is amazing. It is a roadmap of the journey to motherhood. It is a vehicle that carries me through life. I love my body and I am not ashamed of it.
I'm linking this post up with Liska's Inner Truth Linky
This weeks photography theme in The Gallery is shapes. I was having some trouble choosing a picture until I saw this one stored on my mobile phone. This was me at 35 weeks pregnant back in July. I absolutely loved my bump and I miss it dearly.
Everybody thought I was having a girl due to the shape of my bump. It was high and all up front. I had a hunch from the first scan that it was a boy but I let them speculate! I was in better shape physically while I was pregnant than I have ever been in my adult years. I lost a ton of weight due to the morning sickness and despite the obvious bump getting in the way, most of my clothes were too big for me.
Almost 6 months on and I have put a bit of weight on over Christmas. I am going to try and get myself back on track now. I want JC to have a better relationship with food than I do and be happy with his shape and size. I believe the first step towards achieving this is to be a good role model for him.
