365 Happy Days 5/52

I'd love to tell you that it has been a better week but it hasn't. I've been off work ill all weekand I still don't feel much better. I am not going to dwell on it or moan so lets move on. I have struggled with my lack of phone this week (it's still away getting fixed from it's plummet to the bottom of the toilet U-bend). Instagram doesn't work great on the old brick phone and that is how I prefer to share my 365 photos. I took some nice photos on my camera but Instagram doesn't seem to like them and kept kicking me out. So I apologise in advance for the grainy images below and the fact that the photos are all in my house/of the kids but we were housebound all week so it has been very samey!

January 26th

My new photo diary arrived today and I love it! Thank you @photoboxuk this really cheered me up today. Day 322 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 26, 2015 at 3:16pm PST

January 27th 

Spot the Winky - It has taken JC a long time to start drawing but he is really into it at the moment. This is wolverine with a big winky apparently. Ha ha ha! Day 323 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 27, 2015 at 1:58pm PST

January 28th

(Please ignore the stickers on the furniture, we are waiting on a part coming so it still has the tape on and we are waiting to get trunking fitted to hide all unsightly cables!)

Rah Rah! Jamie is really benefiting from the TV being lowered. He can focus so much better now so is able to enjoy watching as well as listening Day 324 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Feb 1, 2015 at 3:03pm PST

January 29th

Instagram hates me and missed off my description for this photo. I haven't left the house this week to go shopping but my Hello Fresh box was my saviour. Lets be honest, ill or not, if I'm not cooking, nobody is eating! This is Hoisin Pork and Rice. It looked lovely, just wish I could've swallowed it!

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Feb 1, 2015 at 3:07pm PST

January 30th 

Playing Shops - lots of pretend play going on this week. Day 326 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Feb 1, 2015 at 3:12pm PST

January 31st

Toybox Naps - he thought it made a better bed than storage. Day 327 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Feb 1, 2015 at 3:14pm PST

February 1st

Sitting Strumming- I found him in his room, strumming and singing along to One Direction (Video to follow). Day 328 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Feb 1, 2015 at 3:18pm PST

Here are some of the photos I wanted to use but Instagram was being a pain . . .

Here is a wee treat for you . . .

365 Happy Days 2/52

Well first week back at work is always painful. When I am working I find it really hard to fit in photos because my days can be quite hectic with little of any substance to photograph. When I come home I am so busy spending time with my boys that I often forget to take any photos.

I managed though and here are my snaps from week 2.

January 5th

Thank you Santa. I returned to work today to my secret Santa present that I wasn't able to pick up before Christmas. A really cute tea light house. I love it Day 301 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 5, 2015 at 1:41pm PST

January 6th 

Duvet Time - no longer in his sleeping bag due to breaking free from it every night. My boy is looking so grown up sleeping with his wee cot duvet. Day 302 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 6, 2015 at 1:20pm PST

January 7th 

Well I guess it's almost over. I'm down to the dross. I'm not happy but my waistline will be! Day 303 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 7, 2015 at 2:42pm PST

January 8th 

Visits with friends and baby cuddles. Day 304 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 9, 2015 at 3:56pm PST

January 9th 

Mark making - I'm going to regret showing him that pen when it ends up on the walls. Day 305 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 9, 2015 at 3:58pm PST

January 10th 

Cuddles for Lucy. Day 396 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 11, 2015 at 2:06pm PST

January 11th 

Another Day, Another Virus. Yet another sick bug for JC. Kaiya is enjoying the extra cuddles. Day 307 #365HappyDays

A photo posted by @grumpinator on Jan 11, 2015 at 2:09pm PST

Baby Grumpinator

I've been hiding something from you.

Baby Grumpinator Round 2
Due Sept 5th

We are very excited!

6/52 - Tranquility of the Outdoors

My favourite day of the week this week had to be Friday. These were also my favourite photos. John and I took advantage of the improving weather and went out for a walk. It was more like a run! He ran most of the route with exception of the hill at the end.

We both love the outdoors and I think it calms us. I've always found it very therapeutic to walk, especially down the farm roads.

It takes me back to a special time in my youth where I would bomb round the farm on my bike, wind in my hair, stinging my cheeks, blowing the cobwebs away. The sweet smell of nature hanging in the air with the feeling of being part of that nature. I used to call these my 'oneness' moments. To be truly in the moment and savouring life. I can only imagine that this is the feeling of mindfulness that people who practise meditation experience. I hope I can pass this feeling of tranquility onto JC but in the meantime he is savouring the joy of being outdoors and all the fun it has to offer.

I'm linking this post up with Country Kids and The Boy and Me's 365.

18/365 A Good Blog Following

I logged on this morning and realised that I had lost a follower. It got me wondering what makes you follow someone? Do you actually look at the blogs of all the people you follow? Are loads of followers really an indication of a successful blog?

I have no idea who has dropped off my followers list so I guess it's not exactly a huge loss but I couldn't help wondering what I had done to annoy that person enough to cut me out lol! 

There are some people I follow whose blogs I check every day. I check these blogs out because they are not only great writers who capture my interest but they have become friends of mine through regular commenting on the blogs or chatting on twitter. Then their are other blogs who I check weekly, they are people who take part in the same linkys as me. I really love their blogs too and I like to read back over their week and catch up. Then their are the blogs who I added to my reading list a while ago but forget about. This is no fault of the actual writer, it might just be that I am a sloppy and lazy reader. If I see someone familiar on a linky I tend to go straight to that one. If someone comments on my blog I always try and go and visit their blog and show some blog love by commenting back. 

I have never actually deleted anyone though. There was obviously a reason for me adding them in the first place and I think that if I don't read them often at the moment, maybe I'll rediscover them when I have more reading time in the future.

17/365 Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder

They look more like flat pebbles than boulders these day and the tend to look towards my feet than straight ahead.

A lot of people in blog world are discussing breastfeeding this week. I breastfed JC until 6 weeks ago and I can't write about my problems as to be honest I was really lucky and I had a very easy time of it. Apart from low milk supply and a bit of Mastitus at the start, it has been relatively positive for me. I don't think I should write a post about how wonderfully great it all is because there is enough breastfeeding propaganda out there to maintain the mummy guilt and I really don't want to be adding to it. I am very much pro choice. I think everyone should try it and give it their best shot but if they find it's not working for them and they are not happy then I think a happy mum = happy baby and that you should always do what is right for you and your own baby.

So I am going to tackle the issue of boobs. I used to have nice ones. Yep, these are mine, all mine. My hubby took this photo without my knowledge a few years ago! Now that I have stopped breastfeeding they feel like empty sacks. It's awful. Other than my well washed, half falling apart feeding bras, I don't have many bras that fit me. My shape has changed so much. I really need to get them measured and fitted but I have never been happy with bras I get fitted (pre pregnancy). They always feel uncomfortable and too tight.


The reason I am posting this as my 365 is because I tried some underwear that I took out of storage tonight. I packed away all my nice lingerie when my boobs rocketed to an G cup during pregnancy and my little D's wouldn't keek. None of them fitted me. After trying on all the bras and bikinis and quickly deciding to bin them, I tried on a wee slinky camisole. I said to my hubby 'what do you think?' He laughed and said 'I didn't think you have gone THAT far south'. He continued to laugh obviously not realising how upset am I about my disappearing boobage and I am pretty sure that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings but it still feels rubbish.

My breast friends will never look the same again. Not without the help of a reinforced well padded bra.

14/365 ZONKED

This is going to be short and sweet because the Grumpinator household is totally ZONKED!

 I was gigging last night and didn't get in until 2am. Then JC was up at 5am and has not napped well today. We kept him up as late as we could and when he eventually went down he was asleep in minutes! I am off to bed to listen to my hypnotherapy track and fall into a deep and hopefully uninterupted sleep!

Here he is . . . (temp is wrong so nobody need be alarmed!)

13/365 Don't Stop Believing

I was tagged in a 'what would be your karaoke song?' meme by The Crazy Kitchen and Working London Mummy ages ago but kept forgetting! Better late than never!

I have included this as my 365 today as it was relevant considering I was gigging tonight at a wedding in Dundee. When I was younger I used to love karaoke and I would be up there chanting away at any opportunity. I haven't sung karaoke in a long time as now I get paid for it! I think the last time was at my hen night where we went to an Italian restaurant that had karaoke during and after dinner. What a laugh!

http://youtu.be/5I-SbwCHJ80
If I was to sing on karaoke now my song would be Don't Stop Believing by Journey. I loved this song long before the X-Factor contingent got hold of it. I actually recorded it last night but I can't work out how to link it onto the blog so I might edit this in the future and add it in once I figure it out! If you are curious in the meantime, you can check out my band site with some recording here . . .

Aquarius Scotland

I need to tag some people now but it's tricky as most have already taken part so apologies but I am leaving this open. If you haven't been tagged already, then consider yourself tagged! Feel free to link back or not but comment below so that I can check out your post!

11/365 Keeping My Head Above Water

Phew . . . I have managed to back blog my last 2 365 post which totally defeats the purpose! I have just been so incredibly busy.

Image from waterbabies

It has been an exciting day for me today as I achieved something really important to me today. I am not a very confident swimmer and to say I am scared of my head going near the water is an understatement! I have been taking JC to WaterBabies swimming lessons for 8 weeks now and his underwater swimming is really good. They teach babies and toddlers to swim underwater without the use of floatation devices. I love their structured approach and I have seen such a dramatic improvement in JC's tolerance of water on his face, even in the bath. All the babies in his class have gotten so good that when the swimming teacher brought out the goggles for the parents so that we could go underwater to watch them, the other parents were so excited whilst I was terrified.

I didn't want to say anything about being scared of the water, as I didn't want to seem pathetic. So I donned the goggles and mustered up the inner strength to go underwater to see my wee babe swimming. It was absolutely amazing! I was so proud of him. He had his eyes wide open and was kicking towards me. I was so glad that I did it and I can't wait to do it again. I have an underwater photography session with him to look forward to in 2 weeks time so hopefully I will get a decent shot of him. It is simply amazing!

He also went for his first hair cut today. My hubby's cousin is a hairdresser so she cut it for him. I asked her to keep his wee curls at the back because I couldn't bear to cut them off!

10/365 Nursery Here I Come . . .

I can officially reveal that I am leaving the comfort of school for the chaos and mayhem of nursery next year. I will be the nursery teacher for 2 days a weeks and it is extremely out of my comfort zone. My most comfortable year group to teach is P4 - 7 but before I fell pregnant I moved down to P2 (5 -6 yr olds). It was a hugely difficult year for me but I had oodles of fun. When I spoke about coming back to work for 3 days a week, I mentioned that I would like a go at nursery. I will still be working in school (P2) for one day a week so I will still keep a semblance of sanity.

I went back to work today for the Nursery Open Day and JC spent the day with Daddy at Deep Sea World. He had a ball and although I missed him, I survived and was too busy to dwell on missing him. We are a step closer to getting our house on the market but it is totally hectic at the moment. Hopefully the next few days will be a bit more relaxing.

9/365 Pretty Boring Day

It was a pretty boring day today. Went shopping to Sainsbury which was surprising cheaper and better quality than my last two shops at Asda and Tesco. We went to a soft play place but they had closed the baby bit so there was nowhere for JC to go. I gave him an overpriced lunch there and headed home. It was really an uneventful day but I enjoyed just spending the time with him because I am going back to work tomorrow for one day and I know I am going to miss him loads!

8/365 - Family Resemblance

Lots of people we know will look at JC and instantly say that he is the double of his Dad. I myself have thought that I don't see much of myself in him and that he looks much more like his Dad. However, my mum thought it would be funny to scan some of my baby photos and post them on Facebook this week. When I was looking through them I saw, for the first time, the similarities between my baby photos and JC's.
Have a look for yourself . . .

We have similar chubby cheeks, button nose, dark blue eyes and a cheeky grin.

Hubby saw more of JC in this photo.



















So I guess there is more of me in him than I thought. He certainly has my stubborn streak and his Dad's huffy streak!

Mummy's Boy

Daddy's Boy

7/365 Crash Boom Bang

This is a backdated 365 post as yesterday was just too busy and awful to find the time to blog.

The nightmarish day started in the morning when I set out on my journey by car to Edinburgh to visit my friends who I did my teacher training with. I was just driving along a rather busy road in town when a car came from the parking bays and swung straight into the passenger side of my car, ripped it's bumper clean off with the force and it's air bag deployed. When I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the damage to the car that hit me I started to panic as it was in such a mess. Surely my car would be worse. Luckily I was driving alone and I had left JC in the capable hands of Hubby for the the morning as it was his side of the car. 

When I went to look at the damage it wasn't nearly as bad as the other car. I wasn't driving my wee Ford Fiesta. I was driving The Beast, Hubby's pride and joy, our Ford Focus Titanium Estate. This was not going to be a pleasant phone call. 

The guy who was driving the other car was full of apologies and quickly gave me his details. I was in such a state of shock and panic that I didn't really know what I was meant to do. I have never been in a car crash as the driver before so I was at a bit of a loss. A nice gentleman helped me and made sure that I had all the necessary information from the guy. 

Unlike the other car, my car was drivable but the passenger side is cosmetically damaged quite badly and the passenger door is a bit mangled so won't open. I am physically fine, just a mild concussion and some backache. I actually feel worse today!  

To add insult to injury, I went to my gig last night in Dunblane Hydro and completely lost my voice. I have been struggling with this throat infection all week, I am just so run down at the moment. I sounded like some sort of rocker, people actually looked at me like I was a bad Karaoke singer. Which is fine, they can be quality entertainment but they don't get what the kind of money I do so I guess they were expecting better! 

So all in all a rubbish day. 

But I woke up to this face this morning which makes life worth living

6/362 Almond Valley Heritage Centre

Today we took a trip with my friend Alison and her wee one Erica who is 14 months old to Almond Valley Heritage Centre in Livingston. We had a fab time and JC was exhausted by bedtime. There are lots of cool things to do there from visiting to farm animals to soft play and trampolines.

JC really liked this pig

 and the other animals too 

He had a brilliant time in Flora's Forest baby soft play. He especially liked the sensory tree and the ball pit. 

He enjoyed watching Erica roll around in the ball pit.

5/365 On The Move, Glue Everything Down

JC never liked being on his tummy unless it was swinging in your arms and I think this is why he has not been really interested in crawling. Over the past few weeks he has started rolling over and doing the backwards commando like in this video . . .

Yesterday he managed to move his knees forward by mistake but something obviously clicked overnight because today he just started crawling, on purpose. I put him in the middle of the rug, surrounded by toys and I dashed upstairs to grab a nappy from the nursery. I was gone about 30 seconds and when I came back downstairs he was gone.

I found him round the side of the couch, under a lamp table. He just gave me this look as if to say 'and your problem is?'

I am really pleased that he has reached another milestone but I am slightly worried about how difficult my life is going to become now that he can move. I don't plan on moving anything, our house is pretty child proofed already because of the dogs.

I will leave you with a clip of him crawling properly . . .

4/365 A Grumpy Tea

As an outsider looking in, one might say that I am extremely lucky to have such a good eater. One thing you could never accuse JC of being is fussy with his food choices. He eats a huge variety of food and loves his grub. However, it's not all as rosy in the garden as it seems. He might not be picky with what he eats but he is certainly picky over how, when, where and how much he eats.

When he doesn't get his own way he can change from being an angelic little boy into a huff strop monster. He doesn't hold back in telling you when something is bothering him. Here are some photos of him from tonight.

Happily eating his dinner

Starting to get a bit grumpy

Moved up a level to moaning 

Moaning didn't work so lets try anger

Now he's really seriously annoyed!

So as you can see mealtimes can be difficult even for this wean machine. 

3/365 Rolling in the Deep (Poo)

For months I found myself looking on in envy at others mums whose babies were rolling and crawling, thinking why is JC not doing that yet.Should I be doing something to encourage him? Well I take it all back. Please give me back my stationary child. I have been having a nightmare of a day with him today.

Picture this . . .

I smell that very familiar smell of a dirty nappy. I get the supplies to hand, ready to change that bad boy. I can usually tell by the preceding look on his face that it will be a messy one. With some protest he goes onto his back on his changing mat. I undo the tabs on the nappy and carefully pull it back trying to avoid the fountain of pee that often greets me at this stage of the nappy change. I look into the nappy and as expect, poo and lots of it. It's the kind that needs about 4 wet wipes minimum. I am just about to set about collecting it in the nappy with his legs in a turkey hold when an sly smile breaks across his face and he starts to roll. He squirms and rolls some more as I desperately try to avoid getting poo on my hands. Damn, his foot is in it. Oops, now it's all over the mat and he is lying on his front with it smeared all over his back and now front. He turns and gives me that smile again as he goes for another roll, this time aiming for the rug. He is giggling at this point, revelling in the chaos he has created. Loving the fact that I am in a state of panic in my attempt to keep the poo smear to a confined area. I fail. Out comes the Vanish.

Thank the Lord for Vanish and Anti Bacterial Handwash.

'This is gonna get messy' face

2/365 Back to School

I went back to work today with JC in tow to find out what class I will be teaching next year. I can't publish where I am going just yet as it's not public knowledge amongst parents. I am happy with my remit next year and although I am only going back to work for 3 days a week, I feel like I am regaining a piece of myself.

Ouch. Then it hits me again. Square in the face. The Working Mum Guilt. I know that loads of mum's have to work or choose to work and that I am actually in the majority but I can't help feeling guilty for not adjusting my lifestyle to enable me to stay at home with my wee boy. If I am being honest, I want to want to be a SAHM but I just can't. It's just not who I am.

The problem is, it's not about the money. Well, the money is good and without it we couldn't move house or go to Florida this year or keep both our cars but we are lucky enough to be able to afford for me to be part time and at a push, to be a SAHM. The reason I am going back to work is because I love my job. It's not just a make ends meet kind of arrangement. I have been a primary school teacher for 5 years and before that I worked with Autistic children which I also loved. I feel that for my own mental health I have to go back to work because I really miss it. Just as much as I missed my singing. I went back to the wedding band last month and have scaled back my gigs to roughly once a fortnight. JC doesn't even know I'm gone as he is usually in bed by the time I leave so this doesn't have as much guilt attached. I have felt my mood lift so much since going back. I feel more like myself again.

So why am I feeling guilty? I think it's because I am like a sponge. I absorb the negative comments and judgemental opinions of others. I really shouldn't care and I really shouldn't let it get to me but these are some of the comments I have heard from people recently . . .

"Why have children if you are not going to stop working to look after them"

"Mothers who work are selfish"

"You will regret going back to work as you'll miss loads of new things that JC does and you will resent that someone else will be bonding with him"

"When I had my children I cared more about them and their emotional wellbeing than material things which is why I chose not to work"

These comments are just a snapshot and I could write more. I don't agree with any of them. I don't think working mothers are selfish and materialistic women and I don't think that their children are damaged emotionally by that fact that they don't spend every living moment with their mother.

I think that I have given my son 12 months of my life when he needed me most. I have taught him the social skills he needs to cope without me when I do go back to work. I think that by working I will be mentally and emotionally healthier therefore I will be a better mother. I think that the extra money will go towards providing the best for him. I truly believe that every mother has the right to choose whether to work or stay at home and that whatever decision they make should not be made feel guilty. Most importantly they should not allow themselves to feel guilty as regardless of the decision, it is probably the best choice for their family.

1/365 Clap a Handies

I have really neglected my blog recently due to illness and travelling and general laziness so I have decided to start a 365 project for myself to make sure that I make more of an effort. So here is my first post of 365 I will post over the next year.

JC is going through learning spurt at the moment. He isn't crawling and he isn't walking but he has a few words (mum, dadda, dog and ta), he can wave, find his eyes, ears, nose and mouth and this week he also started clapping his hands on command (well when he feels like it).

Here is a clip  . . .

He is much happier today now that he has recovered from his illness. He is sitting on the rug at the moment, surrounded by toys and showing them all to Ruby (like she cares!)

It's so nice to have him back to normal and cheerful again. This was his first real illness and I didn't handle it as well as he did, I was a nervous wreck! I am sure there are many more sick days to come and I can't protect him from every bug that comes along but knowing that doesn't make it easier.