I Am Perfect

I grew you inside me for almost 10 months. My body will never be the same. Some days I look in the mirror in disgust.

But to you I am perfect. 

Under my eyes are lined and shadowed from the lack of quality sleep. My hair is greying and thinning, showing a loss of those pregnancy hormones. 

But to you I am perfect. 

To you my eyes are comforting and reassuring. To you my hair is soft and familiar, the way it tickles your face makes you beam that magnificent smile. 

The fat around my tummy is soft and droopy. The stretch marks around my waist and hips are a fiery deep purple like motorway road map.

But to you I am perfect. 

To you my tummy is an exciting place to climb and a soft spot to land. To you the marks on my body are invisible and only serve as a reminder to me of the growing you did while inside me. 

The skin under my arms is paper thin and hanging. The skin on my hands is dry and cracked from constant hand washing. 

But to you I am perfect. 

To you my arms are strong, they rock you to a peaceful slumber. To you my hands are the perfect teether, the perfect thing to grasp during a night feed. 

I would love to see myself as you see me. I can only imagine that I am as beautiful to you as you are to me. Perfect. I made you, I grew you, my body nurtured you, it continues to. 

So each time I look in my mirror with distaste for the image I see, I'm going take a pause and think, only love today, 

because to you, I am perfect. 

My Top 5 Achievements in 2013

I haven't taken part in Listography for a while but I have missed it! This week it's a reflective post on my Top 5 Achievements in 2013. It's been a busy year!

1. Biggest achievement was giving birth to a 10lb 8oz healthy boy with nothing but gas n air and hey, no stitches, need I say more! 

 2. I've survived a year in a new job role which entailed moving councils and working across 2 schools. It was so the right decision for me. I love my job and I've made some really good friends within my workplaces. 

3. I purposely didn't make a resolution last year to diet as that never ends well for me but since giving birth in September, I've lost 3 stone and dropped  2 dress sizes. I have done this through eating clean, healthy, dairy free food and regular exercise. I'm very proud of myself and I look forward to continuing next year.

4. I successfully managed 2 summer holidays abroad with a husband who was in a moon boot with a broken leg and an over excitable 3 year old, all whilst heavily pregnant! 

5. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We have been together since high school and it was probably seen as one of those 'it'll never last' relationships. But it did and it continues to. It hasn't been easy but nothing worth working for ever is. He thinks I'm an over the top drama queen and I think he's a selfish arse at times but we know each other inside out and still love each other so that must count for something. I've learned a lot about successful love this year and I think that first you need to find love for yourself, I'm still working on this. 

So it's been a productive, hardworking and emotional year. I'm looking forward to watching my boys grow over the coming year and I'm hoping to do a bit of growing myself. Watch this space! 

Hop over to Kate's blog for a catch up and other Listography entries ...

No back peddling now, I am half way there!

Next Saturday I will have completed the first part of my challenge, the first 50 days of my 5km a day for 100 days. I am taking part in this challenge to raise money for Alzeimer Scotland but also to try and create a exercise habit for myself. It's no secret to anyone who knows me or reads this blog that weight loss and good health is something I am constantly striving towards.

Since starting my challenge I have dropped a dress size and lost about a 10lb in weight. I've lost something every week but it's clear to see that exercise alone will not shift the pounds. I reckon it's all about the fuel. I am really not very good at diets but I am trying to eat healthily. I really notice a difference in my shape, I am much more toned and my waist is appearing!

Next Saturday, to mark the 50th day, I am taking part in a family cycling event in Edinburgh. It is organised by Sky and one of the Scottish ambassadors is Edith Bowman. I am hoping to meet her and Sir Chris Hoy on the day as they are supposed to be making an appearance. There are Sky Ride events being held all over the country and the main reason I am excited about it is because it's an opportunity to cycle in a traffic free zone. I'm not confident cycling near cars so this suits me perfectly!

I am a cycling novice. Although I loved cycling as a child, I haven't been on a bike in years. We bought a bike buggy attachment for JC and I am really looking forward to using it next week. It's a really nice way to end my first 50 days.

The great thing about this event is that its for everyone. You don't need to be a great cyclist or even own a bike (you can hire one!). There will be lots of entertainment and prizes to be won on the day.

Here is a video of Edith, explaining why she is keen for everyone to take part.

This is not a sponsored post. I am not being paid to take part in or write about this event.

Run! Run! As Fast As You Can!

You can't catch me, I'm the ....

Well I'm not the Gingerbread Man and I'm not much of a runner but I'm still managing to take part in my charity challenge of 5km a day for 100 days. I wrote about the motivation for my challenge a few weeks back, at which point, the 5km a day was for 50 days. I decided to up the challenge after reaching my target of £100 in 2 days!

Just back from a walk together

So gluten for punishment I made it 100 days and I started last Sunday. Tonight was walk number 8 and I've trimmed 10 minutes off my time. I average round the 5km route in about an hour but I have started running  jogging part of the walk, admittedly, it's the down hill parts but we all need to start somewhere!

I've been walking with the dogs and with JC. The dogs are great as the pull me round most of the route but taking JC in the buggy adds an extra dimension of difficulty. At this rate I might have arms like Terminator by the hundredth day.

My walking music of choice this week was recommended to me by my next door neighbour and is 'Now That's What I Call Reggae'. Okay, it's probably a little laid back for this type of challenge but then that's me all over! 

7lbs lost and things are tightening up nicely. Send me positive thoughts this week as I'm going to my Dad's in Czech Republic on holiday this week so avoiding the pivo and forcing myself out walking will be a real challenge.

Laters ;)

pssst
If you want to sponsor me or just browse my just giving page you are more than welcome
Click Here

You'll be old one day too you know!

I remember my Mum saying the phrase 'You'll be old one day too you know' every time I moaned about dottery old folk walking slowly or driving carelessly or forgetting things. She was right, I am getting older. I'll be thirty next year!

I'm starting to feel my age a bit these days. My knees are creakier, my boobs are further south than I'd like them to be and it takes a lot longer to shift the excess weight but a lot less time to put it on. I only need look at a cupcake and it's appearing on my thighs.

One of the other worries I have about getting old is my memory. I had a brief encounter with memory loss during my pregnancy. It's not fun feeling like you are losing your marbles. It's uncomfortable when other people look at you like you are falling apart at the seams.

My Grandad has Vascular Dementia. He has been progressively getting worse over the past 6 years. My Gran was his main carer at home until a few months ago when things got so bad that he had to be admitted to a care home as an emergency transfer as she could no longer care for him. She was devastated. She had cared for him for 6 years at home on a measly carers allowance of £11 a week. Yes you read that right, £11 a week. She is now struggling through a period of grief and loss. This transition period is most definitely just as stressful for the family as it is for the patient.

Alzheimer Scotland are a charity who provide services to people with dementia and their family and carers in my community. They are a friendly voice on the other end of the phone, a smiley face at the door and a source of information and support to many people. We are an ageing population and charities like this should be supported to continue and extend their services.

I am pledging to walk, run or cycle 5km a day for 50 days to raise money and awareness for this charity. I start on the 9th of September and it ends on the 28th of October. I hope to increase my own fitness in the process. If you are interested in finding out more, check out my Just Giving Page.

Too Fat To Give Birth

Okay, before you start reading I must disclose that this may come across as a ranting post and there may be some bad language. This post has been sitting in my drafts folder for a while now. I keep adding and tweeking bits. Let me start at the beginning, my first pregnancy.

38 weeks preggers and about the size of a bus!

I have always been chubby and over the last few years I have been clinically obese. I am very short (just shy of 5ft and although I am a size 16-18, my height means my BMI is always high. Even when I was a size 12 at 10 stone I was classed as overweight. In desperation to fall pregnant I took some protein shakes as part of a food elimination/VLCD diet. It worked and after 3 weeks of drinking nothing but milkshakes I was almost 2 stone lighter and pregnant. Nobody mentioned my weight at my prenatal check ups. I went on to lose more weight in my pregnancy due to constant morning sickness.

2 weeks before I was due to give birth I was speaking to my midwife about my birth plan which was always planned as a water birth. She then said 'you can't have a water birth, you're too overweight'. I was 1 BMI point over the threshold that they set for water births. She then went on to tell me that I would have to been constantly monitored and that I really should of been under consultant care throughout my pregnancy. I was reeling! I asked her to justify this to me, why could I not have a water birth? What did my weight have to do with that? She told me that the reason for this was that the nurses weren't insured to pull me from the water should I need assistance as I'd be too heavy.

Well, this set me off big time. It was big tears and snotters. What I couldn't understand or get across was the fact that someone who was 1 inch taller than me could be the same exact weight but would be classed as healthy and allowed to have the water birth. I just didn't feel heard. I was forced into choosing between a closely monitored hospital birth or a home birth with my own birthing pool. This was a no brainer for me. Home birth it was although this caused much tension between me and my family. Although my Mum was supportive, nobody else was behind my decision and everyone thought I was mad. As it happens I ended up transferring to hospital as my blood pressure was elevated. This was not weight related. I had none of the risk factors associated with being overweight and pregnant. I kept extremely well throughout my pregnancy. My labour went without a hitch (excluding the BP). Looking back I have perspective on it but it still angers me.

I went to the doctors today to get the results of some bloods I have had taken recently. The Doctor gave me a really hard time about my weight and said my BMI was 'ridiculous'. He was reading out my results and said that my cholesterol was perfect, sugars were perfect, thyroid perfect and that he actually couldn't believe how healthy I am considering the way I look (what he meant was what my BMI is). I discussed with him the fact that we want another baby and he just looked at me with disdain. He left me with the thought that I am too fat to give birth and that falling pregnant would be selfish and I'd be putting myself and my baby in danger. I wanted to shout 'what an arsehole!' 'Who do you think you are!' or 'Go F*$k yourself' but I just could even speak. My heart was heavy and I just got out the room as quick as I could.

*Edit* Since writing this post 5 years ago, I went on to have another baby. I didn't lose any weight but I did get fit. I walked more regularly and I improved my diet but didn't go on a diet. I had a problem free pregnancy, a trouble free labour and produced another beautiful, healthy boy. My struggle with the NHS/BMI didn't stop I'm afraid but I was stronger and more vocal second time round. You can read my about my epic 2nd birth story here. I had to fight to be midwife led second time round and not in consultant care but I got my own way! Never give up fighting. Thin doesn't mean healthy. I may be large but I am fit, healthy and strong. My body is amazing. It is a roadmap of the journey to motherhood. It is a vehicle that carries me through life. I love my body and I am not ashamed of it.

I'm linking this post up with Liska's Inner Truth Linky

T

Listography - Top 5 Biscuits

Now, I shouldn't really be writing a post like this as someone who is trying to reduce her biscuit intake. Thinking of them just makes me want to eat them. However, I love Listography and I missed taking part last week so I really should do my duty and eat the bloody biscuit   write the post.

1. My number one is most definitely the Chocolate Hob Nob. I'm afraid the average Hob Nob doesn't quite cut it so it has to be smothered in chocolate for me. I love the fact that they now come in these handy travel packs which means I can eat a whole pack of them whilst driving without the packet breaking and crumbs going all over the seat!

2. Followed closely by my second favourite, the Chocolate Caramel Wafer. Not to be confused with the Caramel Log, which I can't stand. A traditionally Scottish biscuit - OK, technically it is a bar but lets not be pedantic about this. If you have it with a cup of tea it's a biscuit.

3. Lotus Caramelised Biscuits - I recently discovered these delicious biscuits and after eating 2 packets to myself, resolved never to buy them again (at least for a few weeks until my willpower caves in). They are truly scrumptious and taste great dipped in tea - don't judge me, you know we all do it!

4. Oreo Cookies are the most moresome of my top five list and again I have to resist buying them. I especially like the 'double stuff' ones you can get now with even more of the delicious filling. I am a little 'OCD' about how I eat them though. I must first separate the two halves, lick the filling clean off both sides, then I eat the biscuits. If I break a biscuit whilst licking the filling then I must start the ritual again until I get it right (this happens a lot). I eat custard creams in a similar manner but I prefer Oreos.

5. Back to Scotland for our last biscuit entry. The humble Shortbread finger. You can't go wrong with a shortbread finger, again dipped in tea. Delicious. My favourite type of shortbread is the 'crumbly, melt in your mouth' kind. I have recently learned how to make my own shortbread much to the delight of my family and friends and much to the disgust of my scales.





Photo Credit


Check out more love for the 'Biscuit' by checking out the other Listography entries at Kate Takes 5.

I do have reasons to be cheerful - R2BC

I had a bit of a rough day yesterday and found it hard to muster up some cheerfulness but after a good nights sleep I am feeling more positive today. So better late than never . . .

1. I am losing weight. I told you it would happen and it is. I'm not dieting but I am eating better. I am feeling more confident that the weight will start to shift now that I am in control of what I'm eating. I have booked into classes at my gym next week and I am really looking forward to becoming active again. I haven't really managed any proper exercise since JC was born.

2. I am going out with one of my good friends tomorrow for Afternoon Tea. We don't see much of each other and we haven't had good quality 'chat time' in a while. There has been so much change in both our lives recently that I doubt there will be a second of silence. I am looking forward to catching up and of course enjoying the delicious tea and cakes (in moderation!).

3. JC is talking! He is starting to anyway. He is 17 months now and understands a lot of language, probably more than we realise but he is a little bit insecure about speaking out. He tends to whisper words under his breath or he does this strange ventriloquist thing by speaking with his mouth closed. Over the last week we were hearing a least a couple of new words a day. He was also singing Happy Birthday after hearing it being sung to a child at his childminders. I try not to get too hung up on stages of development as all children are different but I am happy that he is walking and now starting to talk. I guess if he is anything like his mum there will come a time that I wish he would be quiet!

Check out the other cheerful posts on Michelle's linky and add your own to take part in her anniversary giveaway!

Mum Tums at the Ready

Just Kidding! 

My Guru, Liska, has started off the New Year with a new found enthusiasm for losing the weight and feeling great. She has inspired me to make a start.

I am not on a diet.

I am not starting a regime.

 If I do I know I will fail and end up here but heavier next year.

Instead, I have joined my local gym which offers loads of classes and I am going to go to the ones that I really enjoy, when I have time and because I actually want to go.  I have also started eating for health. I have planned menus which are based around foods I enjoy. I am practically eating my way through the My Daddy Cooks book by Nick Coffer. I love this book and most of the recipes are healthy and wholesome dishes. It's a fab book, buy it if you are looking for inspiration.

I am not counting syns or points or cheques because as soon as I do I end up feeling deprived and starving which leads to me binging on junk.

I am however, cutting out chocolate. More from a health perspective than a weight perspective. It makes me feel like crap when I eat it. Why am I continually treating my body like a bin?

I will be trying to lose weight, eventually, but I know that before I can start to concentrate on weight loss I need to make eating well 80% of the time and moving my arse 80% of the time, my goal. If I can incorporate these two things into my life, then the weight loss will be a side effect - hopefully.

What I do know is I don't want is to be sitting here typing this next year, fatter and more miserable. I am sick of thinking about it.

Link up with Liska if you want some motivation and support or just have a read so you know your not alone in fighting the flab!

Peace of Cake and Mind

Although I haven't blogged about much in the last few months, I have purposely not blogged about weight loss or diet.

My reason?

I haven't been on one.

Do I feel guilty about this?

Hell no! It's been great.





What the hell am I thinking?

Finally, I have found some peace of mind. I think I have finally discovered the answers to which I have been searching for answers to for the past 12 years. So I felt it was time to share it with you and the rest of the Mumentum crew over at Liska's weight loss linky.

It all started with a man called Trevor. Some of us in the blogosphere know and love Trevor very much and go to bed with him every night. He is the voice of Thinking Slimmer. I bought a slim pod (a bit like a 10 minute hypnotherapy track) from them in July. I listened to it religiously and started to see changes in the way I felt and reacted around food. My goal from the beginning was not really about the weight but more about my control around food.

I often felt out of control around food. I would diet strictly and buy into the latest diet but the problem was that these diets all depended on some sort of willpower. The issue with willpower for me is that it is like an elastic band that gets stretched, tighter and tighter and tighter until SNAP.

When my willpower band inevitably snapped I would go on an almighty binge, eating enough to feel sick and I often was. I would feel incredibly guilty which would lead me then to eat for comfort with the mentality that I might as well fall of the wagon in style. It was very much an all or nothing approach.

So what  has changed?

Trevor was reprogramming my mind but I also came across two ladies whose ideas about weight loss and diets really spoke to me. Sophie and Audrey  are the two chocolate fairies who wrote a book and hold workshops under the title Beyond Chocolate. They speak of throwing away the diet books, ditching the exercise regimes and finding your inner guru. After all, who knows better than you when it comes to what is best for you? They offer wisdom from their own experience and from their experience of working with other women. They offer 10 principles which need not be seen as prescriptive but more suggestive. I won't go into the principles here but they have really helped me focus on small things I can do to regain my control around food. I eat when I am hungry, I eat what I want, I stop when I'm satisfied and I try to move my body in a way I find enjoyable everyday.

How much weight have I lost?

Absolutely none. So far. However, it's not about the weight loss. I have maintained my weight for quite a while now and I know that the excess weight was gained through binging after a diet and I have now broken that cycle. I am eating less but not feeling deprived. I am exercising more but not feeling under pressure. I know that if I continue as I am I will lose weight but the weight loss is simply a side effect of my regained control. Considering all I have going on in my life right now and every thing I have done since starting thinking slimmer and finding Beyond Chocolate, it's a miracle that I haven't piled on the pounds recently. I hope that when I move house and this settle down that the weight will start to shift.

What have I learned?

I have finally realised that I will be the same person I am now when I am thinner. I am a person who is worth more care than I have been giving myself over the past 12 years (since I started dieting). I should enjoy the life I'm living now instead of waiting for my life to start when I'm thinner. I live in the now. I don't let food control my mood but I enjoy eating every morsel that goes in my mouth. I have faith that I know what's best for me and that with time the weight will continue to come off until I stabilise at a weight that is just right for me.

I hope this has interested you and I should also point out that this isn't a sponsored post. I bought my slimpod and my Beyond Chocolate book and nobody is paying me to write favourably about either company.

I have a Cybermummy Sponsor!!! (and a brass neck!)

I hope my bum will look this good after 2 weeks!
Image courtesy of Zaggora.com 

I did think I had a bit of a brass neck when I sent off an email to the sports brand Zaggora, makers of the fabulous HotPants, to ask them to sponsor my accommodation for Cybermummy. My Gran always told me 'if you don't ask, you won't get' and my Mum always told me to 'ask nicely and be polite'. So taking onboard the advice of the two most important advice givers in my life, I composed a begging letter proposal and hit the send button.

The reason I choose to ask Zaggora was because, as I'm sure my regular readers will know, I am not the slimmest mummy in the village but I am trying very hard, with the help of Liska's MoMenTum group, to lose weight and tone up. Fellow MoMenTum member, Karen (I would like to be a yummy mummy), put me in touch with this company who are launching these revolutionary exercise shorts, HotPants, which can help you to drop 2 dress sizes in 2 weeks. You wear them when you exercise and they literally sweat the fat out of you. You can wear them as shorts or under your clothes or even to bed. I wrote about my love for them the other day as part of my MoMenTum post. When I was emailing the company about reviewing the HotPants I found that they were very friendly and approachable. So I thought, why the hell not drop them an email and offer them some good blog publicity.

I truly believe that blog advertising works because I often buy products after reading a blog review or reading about a product that is working for someone else. I believed that I could offer Zaggora's HotPants some well deserved publicity for what I hope will be the remedy for my thunderous thighs.

"Why do you need sponsorship and what took you so long to ask for it?" I hear you ask.

Well, my plan was to take the night bus from Glasgow to London, stay the day in London and get the night bus back. However, I really didn't feel like it was a good idea to be alone, in London, in a bus station at midnight. The train would be a better option or staying over on the Saturday night but I couldn't afford it. I'm still not back at work and I'm counting pennies so that the pounds don't bankrupt me. In the end I worked out the best option was the bus after all but I would need to stay in a hotel on the Saturday. I didn't originally ask for sponsorship as my blog was only in it's infancy when I heard about Cybermummy but it's still going strong and gaining in followers every month so I feel I can reach a wider audience now.

Like a knight in shining armour, 5 minutes after sending off the desperate email for help, my prayers were answered. I will be going to the ball but I won't be wearing a ball gown. I will be wearing HotPants!

and I am staying here, courtesy of Zaggora, thanks guys!

HotPants are a new product launching in June and Zaggora are looking for 50 Mummy bloggers to be Ambassadors for their HotPants which means you get a FREE pair to review. You also get a unique discount code to place on your blog which means you will get PAID £4.40 for every pair order with your code at the checkout. If you fancy being involved then please comment below I will I put you in touch.

Can't wait until June 25th now! I don't even have to think about what to wear because I will be wearing a lovely HotPants t-shirt!

Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Check out these bad boys - Image courtesy of Zaggora

Well last week I harked on about giving up on the diet and so far it is working. I have not felt compulsion to eat at all this week and I have lost a few pounds without even trying. I have signed myself up for classes at the gym this week as I plan (evil word) to put my focus much more on the exercise side of things whilst remaining sensible but flexible with my diet. 

Karen over a Would like to be a Yummy Mummy asked around to see who would be interested in trying out a new brand of exercise shorts made by the company Zaggora. They are designed to help you get more out of your workout. By wearing them when you exercise can help you shift the pounds faster. Great! I love getting more for less but then I am Scottish and we are thrifty! 

I can't wait to get my pair of HotPants to review for you all. There are a few of us Momentum girls who will be receiving them shortly. I can assure you my pair will be thoroughly tested, I might even wear them to bed. Apparently, wearing them while you are sleeping can show results in 6 -8 weeks. WooHoo! 

Oh and before I forget to tell you this other amazing fact! If you fancy buying yourself a pair to get yourself svelte then please use this voucher code (CLAIREMCC) here: 

Why?

Because, you get 10% off and I get £4. Although the £4 will come to me, I will be donating my £4 to the charity CrossReach who provide the Post Natal Depression Service in Edinburgh as they have been a huge support to me when I have needed it most and I would like to give something back. 

  

Cutting the Yo-yo Dieting String

Can't believe it's been another week already! It's Monday Mum Tum link up time again and Liska, who hosts this linky, has set us some questions to get us thinking about how our week has gone. You can head over here to read about the other girls who are taking part in losing weight. In some ways I haven't had a good week and in other ways it has been enlightening! Here's a run down of my week . . .

After recovering from my illness last week I didn't go straight back on 'the plan' but I wasn't out of control. I felt thinner and was eating well but healthily. I went to my weigh in class on Wednesday and although I had lost weight I hadn't lost as much as I had planned too. The class consultant made me feel really bad and 'shamed' me in front of the class. I told her it would be a hard weekend for me as I had a wedding to go to but that I would try. She totally ignored me and set a target of 2lbs off for me this week. I left feeling really shitty and down about it all. So I handled it the only way I know how, a good old binge! I ate a whole bag of Galaxy counters in the car on my way home. I like to eat secretly in the car, it's my thing. I then like to hide the evidence wrappers in the outdoor bin. I fool myself that I am hiding it from my husband but to be honest he probably doesn't care. I am really hiding it from myself as I am terribly embarrassed about my lack of control! I continued eating until I felt better about the awful Wednesday night until Thursday teatime, when I felt I had done enough damage and that it was time to stop. I have been off the plan since then and I have decided not to go back. I am changing 'The Plan'. I will address my new plan in Liska's questions . . .

What is working and what isn't working?
Nothing I have done in the last week is working. I have fallen into the same trap of dieting that I always fall into. I should know myself well enough by now to know that I can't stick to diets. I'm rubbish at them and they just perpetuates my feelings of inadequacy and failure.

What has worked in the past?
The only time I have ever had weightloss success in my entire life was when I stopped dieting. When I was pregnant I stopped dieting and ate what I wanted, when I wanted it and I lost loads of weight without even trying.  I felt great about myself and could easily have chocolate, crisps and other 'sinful' foods in the house but I never binged on them. I didn't have to because they were always going to be there for me if I really wanted them. When I diet I tend to eat the contents of my cupboards because I won't be allowed them tomorrow. What kind of twisted logic is that?

What will I focus on this week?
I am giving up on the 'diet' and focussing on the exercise. I like to exercise and I look forward to it so now that I am feeling better I have no excuse.

When I gave birth to JC I had brilliant success with hypnotherapy. I was completely calm and strangely silent throughout the whole labour and birth. I am very suggestable! I am the type of person who breaks their legs trying to get to the shops to buy a Perle de Lait yoghurt after seeing the advert on tele. So I am going to try the Paul McKenna approach. I will listen to his CD every day and follow his 4 Golden Rules
1. When I am hungry I will eat
2. I will eat what I want to eat
3. I will eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
4. When I am full I will stop eating

What have I achieved so far?
Not much but I feel I am achieving a sense of perspective. I think that I am realising that there is no point in doing what I have always done because I have been dieting since I was 16 and I have only got bigger! I had a wonderful time at the wedding at the weekend and despite not having a great week I didn't feel fat and frumpy. I even went without covering up under a cardigan (which I hate but I always end up wearing because I hate my flabby arms!). Here are some snaps

Monday Mum Tum - Checking in

Liska over at New Mum Online is holding a blog hop about losing our Mum Tums for summer. I blogged about how I was going to achieve this last week. There has been much chat and support on twitter this week and it's been a great reminder to keep positive.

I became ill with the flu last week and I have been in bed for 3 days with it. This means that the exercise part of The Plan went down the tubes. I did make up for it in the food department as I didn't eat anything for three days and even today I am not really up to eating much at all. Not the healthiest start and certainly not a way to continue!

I'm on the mend now and I hope that I have a good week ahead of me. I will gradually start to take more exercise but I don't want to over do it too soon. I am going away for the weekend to Belfast for a wedding so I hope that I can be sensible and not ruin all my hard work.

My aim for the week is to lose a few more pounds so that the dress I am wearing to the wedding fits me a little better and that I feel more comfortable in it when I'm sitting down.

I like to keep track of my weight on the scales and I am not obsessive about it. I understand the weight fluctuates so I don't get too fixated on the weekly amounts but I measure my success over the course of a few weeks and also by how I feel in my clothes. I have felt lighter the past couple of days and the waistbands were a little slacker. The scales show a loss of 6lbs this week as of today so I am well chuffed with that. Long may it continue!

The other girls taking part can be found below on Liska's blog hop . . . .

A (much needed) Kick Up the Backside

image by weightlossresources.co.uk

Liska over a NewMumOnline blogged yesterday about a group of bloggers who all want to shift the pounds. She was thinking about calling it Motivational Monday but there is already a meme called this (I think it's fine to call this by the same name Liska as long as it is a different topic).

I have been inspired by all this talk of losing pounds and inches and although I have been doing a lot of big chat recently about what I am going to do, I am yet to put it firmly into action. I had a good couple of weeks there where I lost 10lbs and felt I had things under control but with my birthday and my hubby's birthday, it's all gone a bit haywire again. So I am committing my 'plan' to writing on my blog for all to see. I hope that the Motivational Monday or whatever name it's going to go by, will give me something to keep me focussed. I had started blogging about this over on my food blog but I only have 2 followers over there and it's a bit sad so I think I might shut it down :) 

My Motivators 

• I want to be a positive role model for my son. I want him to see me eating healthily and taking regular exercise as a matter of course rather than yoyo dieting and slobbing around. 
• I don't want to end up with diabetes. It runs in the family and I am on the cusp I am told by my GP. 
• I really hate feeling like I am always the fattest person in the room. I am probably not always the fattest in the room but that is how I see myself - the fat, cheery, easy going one. 
• I want to be able to go into a 'normal' persons shop and pick something off the rail in my size and know it will fit me and look great. I want to look my age and wear fashionable clothes that other girls my age wear rather than the frumpy clothes I wear now that make me look ancient. 

 

Timescale 

12 weeks then evaluate and change if necessary

The Food

I will eat healthily and in line with my slimming world principles (plenty of fruit, veg, starchy filling foods, lean meats and proteins, cut down on dairy, refined carbs like bread and cereal and obviously the really tasty stuff like cakes)

This won't mean anything to anyone who doesn't do Slimming World but I will only use 10 syns a week for meals and try to cook free meals where possible. 

If a special event comes up (like the wedding I am attending next week in Belfast), I give myself permission to enjoy my food but I will go straight back on the Plan the next day, without guilt. 

I will have a Starbucks skinny caramel frappe and a cinnamon swirl on a Tuesday as my wee treat of the week. (25 syns). This leaves me 35 syns for a special occasion/tipple/bad day chocolate attack. 

The Exercise

I have done something really naughty - I have joined a gym. I told myself never again would I squander my hard earned pennies by throwing them away on a hardly used piece of plastic but here I am again, swearing this time will be different. You know what though, I hope it is. I really love exercise and it always makes me feel better. It can only help the PND to get out the house and dance around like a maddy. I have eased my conscience by choosing a gym with no membership fee or tie in period should this be a fad. 

To get the most out of my membership I want to go to a minimum of 4 classes a week. Next week (when my membership starts) will look like this . . . 

 

Monday - Body Pump 9.10 - 9.45pm

Tuesday - Body Pump 8.30 - 9.30pm

Wednesday - Day of Rest

Thursday - Body Combat 9 - 9.45pm

Friday - Body Jam 7.45 - 8.45pm

Saturday - Travelling to Ireland so I'll probably lose weight just worrying about the ferry crossing!

Sunday - Wedding so my exercise will be dancing the night away, unless JC has other ideas! 

The Mindset

This is not a 'diet'. I am making changes to my lifestyle which I plan on maintaining even once I am happy to maintain my weight. I don't want to feel like I am denying myself or putting my life on hold. I have very serious and important reasons for losing weight which can't wait until next year. I don't want to look back in ten years time and wish I'd done something about the weight when I was younger. I am 28 now and I have loads of friends who are older than me. They all tell me the same thing, that it gets harder to lose weight the older you get. I don't know if this is true but I don't want to chance it! 

My Obstacles - the things most likely to scupper me

My husband - He loves to bring me home treats so hopefully he's reading this and will be more supportive! 

PND - Part of my 'issue' is leaving the house so I hope I can overcome this to get to the gym 

Memory Loss - I am extremely effected by memory loss especially in situations where I have to make positive choices, I conveniently forget I am watching my weight, until that piece of tablet is dissolving in my mouth! 

Wedding Buffets - I have just started back with the band and the smell of wedding buffets at gigs will be shouting on me. 

The Grumpinator - I have not seen him recently as my little grump has been replaced by an angelic JC of late but when he does return he will knock me for 6 and remind me that I am at his mercy. 

Wish me luck and I have to give thanks to Liska for reminding me I'm not alone. These lovely ladies are all fighting the same battle . . . 

@alysonsblog 

@Mummyandbeastie 

@workinglonmummy 

@multiplemummy 

@wouldliketobe