Happy 2nd Blog Birthday!

I can't actually believe that this blog is still going! I'm not one for really sticking to things. The amount of times that I have decided to start something (guitar, photography, a new exercise regime) and I've managed for a week and then lost interest. When I opened this blog 2 years ago, I did so for the purpose of venting my new mum frustrations, finding a place to deal with the depths of post natal depression and as a way to connect with people, which I was finding impossible to do in face to face situations at the time.

In a relatively short space of time I became part of the bloggers circle, I was chatting regularly with some great blog writers and getting some fabby feedback on posts I had written. I have always enjoyed writing but it is not an area in which I would've described myself as talented. I've since discovered that I do have a knack for self depreciating, humorous posts as well as honest, heartfelt and raw emotive posts. I think that this strongly reflects my character!

I have toyed with the idea of closing down the blog now that I am 'well' or should I say 'better'. I have thought about the fact that I never seem to find the time to blog now that I am working full time. However, after a bit of soul searching, I've decided to keep going. I would miss having this opportunity to lay myself bare to the nation! I enjoy writing about my life. I love to have a record of my little Grumpinator's early years. I think this year is going to be very interesting with some big changes ahead for us as a family. I would miss my blogging friends (you know who you are) and after the passing of Kerry recently, I feel I owe it to her to keep going.

I feel like I should do an overview of my year but it's been a pretty shitty one if I'm honest. Most of the joy and pleasure of this year has come in the simple moments with my boy. The moments when I look at him and feel my heart bursting with pride and adoration. The moments when he looks at me a certain way, hugs me unprovoked or tells me he loves me. It's those moments that have been significant for me yet I don't seem to blog about them! However, I've scraped the depths and come up with some highlights for you!

January
I started my 366 project so there are plenty photos on my blog (at least until I got fed up and stopped taking photos!). Christmas is a tough time for me in terms of post natal depression. I don't know why. Perhaps it is the extra stress on my emotions at this time of year. January was quite a dark month with posts about feeling useless and about my overeating in the wardrobe of all places. It wasn't all bad though. I went to see Ed Sheeran in Edinburgh which was Amazeballs! I had a night out in Stirling with one of my best mates which included an overnight stay.

February
I wrote one of my favourite posts about my friends, My hubby showed me he could still be romantic, in his own unique way. February was filled with fun times with JC and lots of outdoor fun.





March
I was so happy to share in the joy of my friend Paula's wedding. There was more outdoor fun with a trip to the beach.  There was lots of indoor fun due to rubbish weather so we some baking, painting and water play - mummy of the year award!

April
Saw the arrival and the sad departure of our first bunny, Rabbie :( JC got his first bike! We got the opportunity to review a Polarn O Pyret jacket which JC wore constantly throughout last year. My Dad, Barbora and my little brother Danny came over from Czech Rep for a visit. It was lovely to spend time as a family.

May
JC developed a love for horses! We got some lovely weather which meant lots of time spent outdoors. My Mum and Step Dad got an allotment which meant loads of veg for us! We got a new rabbit (Boris) who I am happy to report is still alive! We investigated the option of sending JC to an outdoor nursery. Our good friends, Greig and Fiona got married. I blogged about how my weight is holding me back from having another baby.




 June
My life at work took a bit of a nose dive. Things were pretty much awful. This is when my 366 started to fall by the wayside. I met up with my bestest Alana for some emotional support and cake of course! Things got so bad that I knew I needed to get out. So I picked myself up, put on a suit and went for a job interview - which I got! This change was bitter sweet. It meant less commuting but a return to full time employment which I still haven't adjusted to.

July
In some sort of moment of craziness, I decided to embark on a 5km a day for 100 days challenge. I raised £200 for Alzheimer's Scotland. I blogged about my Grandad losing his mind to vascular dementia. 







August 
 I didn't blog for the whole month. I think I will need to do a back blog for this month as I can't believe that I didn't even blog on JC's 2nd birthday! Anyway, we had a big party at the house and we went to Almond Valley for a kids party. I started my new job the next day which is probably why I haven't blogged this month. I was incredibly busy!

September
I wrote about the positive impact that walking was having on my life and how I wasn't really cut out for cycling. 

October
We saw that start of JC's vivid imagination and we started taking him ice skating which he just loves!

November 
I blogged about making children more resilient and I blogged about my friend Kerry (who blogs at Multiple Mummy) as she was in hospital after a brain haemorrhage.








December
We had much fun reviewing toys from Ikea. I wrote a post about toddlers being capable of torture. Sadly, I blogged about the loss of people in my life this year including an inspirational woman. RIP Kerry, you live on in our hearts and minds.

Phew! What a year! I can't wait to see what awaits in the year to come. Thanks to everyone who reads this blog and for the support you have given me over the past two years.

 xxx

What I've Learned in 50 Days

For those of you just joining me, I started a challenge 50 days ago. The challenge is to walk/run/cycle 5km a day for 100 days. It started off as 50 but in a moment of madness I decided to increase it! Today is Day 50. I'm halfway there. I felt this was a good day for a pause to evaluate and reset goals. The initial purpose was to lose weight and to make activity a part of my daily life. I decided to raise money for charity at the same time which you can read about here.I originally joined up with the 5x50 team but as I started early I have been doing the last 50 days on my own. Today I join the other 4423 challengers for the last chapter of my challenge, the final 50!

What I've Learned About Myself

• I like planning what I am going to do but I'm not that enthusiastic about actually doing it. 
• I have an 'inside' voice that tries to sabotage me by telling me things like; "Nobody would know if walked to a café and sat there for hour, just run for the last 5 mins to get home and arrive sweaty". Resisting this inner voice is really difficult. 
• Finding an hour in the day for myself is nearly impossible. 
• The biggest obstacle to my weight loss and fitness is my utter lack of endurance and consistency. 

Just back from a walk together

What I've Learned About Walking

• I like it. It's my favourite activity! I find that for an overweight person I am actually quite good at it and I'm reasonably fast paced. 
• My favourite time of day for walking is either sunrise or sunset. I like to take photos on my walk and this is the best time of day for it. 
• Blisters are awful and the type of socks you wear really make the difference. My feet eventually adjust to the trainers and the pain of blisters reduces. 
• It's easier to do the hilly part of the walk first and get it over with. It's a great warm up then the rest seems like a breeze. 

I just love walking/running when the sun is setting

What I've Learned About Running

• I'm not awful at it but I am most definitely a beginner. I am amazed how quickly my body adapts though. I went from not being able to run for more than a minute to running for 15 mins by the end of the week. 
• My pelvic floor muscles are not what the used to be. Running is like the equivalent of sneezing for me.
• Carrying the amount of weight that I do is not great on the joints when I'm running. I think running will be something that will be easier for me when I'm lighter. 
• Blisters are worse when I run compared to walking. They appear in different places so my running feet technique must differ from my walking feet. 
• Running downhill is easy, running on the straight is manageable, running up a hill is stupidity. 

What I've Learned About Cycling

• Bum Sores - need I say more?
• Any women who have had a baby really need a bigger bike seat or it simply disappears. 
• Cycling is much harder than walking or running but you can complete the challenge in much less time.
• Despite it being quicker, the pain last twice as long. 
• If you find it too hard you can get off and walk but you look like a loser and you should really come up with an excuse like "My bike has lost it's pedals, that's why a walking, I'm not a lazy git". 
• There is nothing quite like the exhilarating feeling of zooming down a hill on a bike. It releases the inner child. 

What I've Learned About Weight Loss

• It's 70% diet and 30% exercise. On the weeks I only exercise I lose less or stay the same. It really takes both. Exercise is brilliant for tone, fitness and wellbeing but alone it won't shift the pounds. 
• It shouldn't be a diet, it should be something that fits well with your life. If I exercise regularly and show some self restraint around food I'd be thinner. 
• I don't feel better after I go on a food bender.
• My stomach is flatter when I eat more protein than carbs. 
• I've lost a stone in the last 50 days but it's been really slow. I jump from one diet to another which totally confuses my body. I find it really difficult to be consistent with a food program. 

Where Do I Go From Here?

• I am really excited about the next 50 days. I am going to focus more on walking faster and increasing the periods of running. 
• As I like the mornings and the evenings for walking, I aim to walk at these times. I think if I walk before work I will have more energy but this means committing to going to bed earlier at night.
• I'm going to eat well and make positive choices towards food. I am going to think less about dieting and more about fuelling my body effectively. I am going to eat things I know make me feel good, cutting back but not eliminating carbs and increasing but not overdoing the protein. 

No back peddling now, I am half way there!

Next Saturday I will have completed the first part of my challenge, the first 50 days of my 5km a day for 100 days. I am taking part in this challenge to raise money for Alzeimer Scotland but also to try and create a exercise habit for myself. It's no secret to anyone who knows me or reads this blog that weight loss and good health is something I am constantly striving towards.

Since starting my challenge I have dropped a dress size and lost about a 10lb in weight. I've lost something every week but it's clear to see that exercise alone will not shift the pounds. I reckon it's all about the fuel. I am really not very good at diets but I am trying to eat healthily. I really notice a difference in my shape, I am much more toned and my waist is appearing!

Next Saturday, to mark the 50th day, I am taking part in a family cycling event in Edinburgh. It is organised by Sky and one of the Scottish ambassadors is Edith Bowman. I am hoping to meet her and Sir Chris Hoy on the day as they are supposed to be making an appearance. There are Sky Ride events being held all over the country and the main reason I am excited about it is because it's an opportunity to cycle in a traffic free zone. I'm not confident cycling near cars so this suits me perfectly!

I am a cycling novice. Although I loved cycling as a child, I haven't been on a bike in years. We bought a bike buggy attachment for JC and I am really looking forward to using it next week. It's a really nice way to end my first 50 days.

The great thing about this event is that its for everyone. You don't need to be a great cyclist or even own a bike (you can hire one!). There will be lots of entertainment and prizes to be won on the day.

Here is a video of Edith, explaining why she is keen for everyone to take part.

This is not a sponsored post. I am not being paid to take part in or write about this event.

Run! Run! As Fast As You Can!

You can't catch me, I'm the ....

Well I'm not the Gingerbread Man and I'm not much of a runner but I'm still managing to take part in my charity challenge of 5km a day for 100 days. I wrote about the motivation for my challenge a few weeks back, at which point, the 5km a day was for 50 days. I decided to up the challenge after reaching my target of £100 in 2 days!

Just back from a walk together

So gluten for punishment I made it 100 days and I started last Sunday. Tonight was walk number 8 and I've trimmed 10 minutes off my time. I average round the 5km route in about an hour but I have started running  jogging part of the walk, admittedly, it's the down hill parts but we all need to start somewhere!

I've been walking with the dogs and with JC. The dogs are great as the pull me round most of the route but taking JC in the buggy adds an extra dimension of difficulty. At this rate I might have arms like Terminator by the hundredth day.

My walking music of choice this week was recommended to me by my next door neighbour and is 'Now That's What I Call Reggae'. Okay, it's probably a little laid back for this type of challenge but then that's me all over! 

7lbs lost and things are tightening up nicely. Send me positive thoughts this week as I'm going to my Dad's in Czech Republic on holiday this week so avoiding the pivo and forcing myself out walking will be a real challenge.

Laters ;)

pssst
If you want to sponsor me or just browse my just giving page you are more than welcome
Click Here

You'll be old one day too you know!

I remember my Mum saying the phrase 'You'll be old one day too you know' every time I moaned about dottery old folk walking slowly or driving carelessly or forgetting things. She was right, I am getting older. I'll be thirty next year!

I'm starting to feel my age a bit these days. My knees are creakier, my boobs are further south than I'd like them to be and it takes a lot longer to shift the excess weight but a lot less time to put it on. I only need look at a cupcake and it's appearing on my thighs.

One of the other worries I have about getting old is my memory. I had a brief encounter with memory loss during my pregnancy. It's not fun feeling like you are losing your marbles. It's uncomfortable when other people look at you like you are falling apart at the seams.

My Grandad has Vascular Dementia. He has been progressively getting worse over the past 6 years. My Gran was his main carer at home until a few months ago when things got so bad that he had to be admitted to a care home as an emergency transfer as she could no longer care for him. She was devastated. She had cared for him for 6 years at home on a measly carers allowance of £11 a week. Yes you read that right, £11 a week. She is now struggling through a period of grief and loss. This transition period is most definitely just as stressful for the family as it is for the patient.

Alzheimer Scotland are a charity who provide services to people with dementia and their family and carers in my community. They are a friendly voice on the other end of the phone, a smiley face at the door and a source of information and support to many people. We are an ageing population and charities like this should be supported to continue and extend their services.

I am pledging to walk, run or cycle 5km a day for 50 days to raise money and awareness for this charity. I start on the 9th of September and it ends on the 28th of October. I hope to increase my own fitness in the process. If you are interested in finding out more, check out my Just Giving Page.

Heaven Through The Clouds - 68/366

Another beautiful sunrise on my walk this morning. It was like watching Heaven bursting through the clouds.

Walking Into The Sun

As I mentioned last week, I have started walking in the morning with the intention of eventually breaking into a jog in the near future! The principles of my new lifestyle are

Drink More Water

Eat Less Junk

Run Walk

These are not innovation principles that I made up myself. They are taken from the book that I have been reading like a bible for the past few weeks.

I was up before dawn again this morning and I stopped a few times to take some photos. I love the way the light changes over the course of my walk. It's like walking into the sun.

The darkness at the start of the walk

Black trees

Here comes the sun

Walking into the sun

This is the light at the end of the walk (an hour later)

I think the dark photo at the start reflects my attitude and emotion at the start of a walk and the light photo at the end reflects how 'light' I feel at the end.

I'm linking this post up to Liska's Inner Truth link up 

Walk This Way Part 1

This is titled Part 1 as I imagine I will be reposting about this topic in the very near future when JC takes his very first unaided steps. It's quite a big deal from the point of view of the child but it's an even bigger deal for the parents. It's the first time when you are really surplus to requirements. I suppose crawling is quite independent but walking to me seems to mark the real start of their growing up and becoming a fully fledged toddler.

John Connor will be celebrating his first birthday in 2 weeks time and it is amazing how much he has grown, learned and developed in that time. I am so incredibly proud of every little step that he has achieved, magnificently and his own sweet time.

One thing about JC is that nothing ever goes to anyone's timescale except his own. I like that about him. He has shown his streak of difference from the outset. Showers not baths, jumping not crawling, finger foods not purees, man sized pizza not stingy children's portion and why sleep in a Moses basket when you can sleep in a roomy cot and in a room of your very own. He has always done things in his own way, in his own time.

I am so passed worrying about when he does things choosing now to live in the moment, cherishing each second I have with him, as time passes too quickly. He soon will be classed as a toddler, no longer my wee baby but I have really enjoyed watching and documenting his 'firsts' this past year are there are many still to come . . . stay tuned.

Here is a clip of him starting to stand up on his own and thinking of taking those major first steps . . .

101st post! JC's 1st (supported) Steps!

I just looked at my blog and realised that my last post was my 100th post! 4 and a half months into blogging and it's become a lifestyle!

I wanted to share this with you. JC is not too keen on crawling, he gets annoyed really quickly on his belly but he loves being on his feet. Last weekend he made his first attempt at walking supported indoors with my mum. Then on Wednesday he took his first supported steps outside with his other Gran.

Here he is, a bit reluctant to start as he didn't like his hands being held but then he spotted a daisy and was more motivated!

I know I will have my work cut out for me when he starts walking and I think the dogs will be petrified!