Although I haven't blogged about much in the last few months, I have purposely not blogged about weight loss or diet.
I haven't been on one.
Do I feel guilty about this?
Hell no! It's been great.
What the hell am I thinking?
Finally, I have found some peace of mind. I think I have finally discovered the answers to which I have been searching for answers to for the past 12 years. So I felt it was time to share it with you and the rest of the Mumentum crew over at Liska's weight loss linky.
It all started with a man called Trevor. Some of us in the blogosphere know and love Trevor very much and go to bed with him every night. He is the voice of Thinking Slimmer. I bought a slim pod (a bit like a 10 minute hypnotherapy track) from them in July. I listened to it religiously and started to see changes in the way I felt and reacted around food. My goal from the beginning was not really about the weight but more about my control around food.
I often felt out of control around food. I would diet strictly and buy into the latest diet but the problem was that these diets all depended on some sort of willpower. The issue with willpower for me is that it is like an elastic band that gets stretched, tighter and tighter and tighter until SNAP.
When my willpower band inevitably snapped I would go on an almighty binge, eating enough to feel sick and I often was. I would feel incredibly guilty which would lead me then to eat for comfort with the mentality that I might as well fall of the wagon in style. It was very much an all or nothing approach.
So what has changed?
Trevor was reprogramming my mind but I also came across two ladies whose ideas about weight loss and diets really spoke to me. Sophie and Audrey are the two chocolate fairies who wrote a book and hold workshops under the title Beyond Chocolate. They speak of throwing away the diet books, ditching the exercise regimes and finding your inner guru. After all, who knows better than you when it comes to what is best for you? They offer wisdom from their own experience and from their experience of working with other women. They offer 10 principles which need not be seen as prescriptive but more suggestive. I won't go into the principles here but they have really helped me focus on small things I can do to regain my control around food. I eat when I am hungry, I eat what I want, I stop when I'm satisfied and I try to move my body in a way I find enjoyable everyday.
How much weight have I lost?
Absolutely none. So far. However, it's not about the weight loss. I have maintained my weight for quite a while now and I know that the excess weight was gained through binging after a diet and I have now broken that cycle. I am eating less but not feeling deprived. I am exercising more but not feeling under pressure. I know that if I continue as I am I will lose weight but the weight loss is simply a side effect of my regained control. Considering all I have going on in my life right now and every thing I have done since starting thinking slimmer and finding Beyond Chocolate, it's a miracle that I haven't piled on the pounds recently. I hope that when I move house and this settle down that the weight will start to shift.
What have I learned?
I have finally realised that I will be the same person I am now when I am thinner. I am a person who is worth more care than I have been giving myself over the past 12 years (since I started dieting). I should enjoy the life I'm living now instead of waiting for my life to start when I'm thinner. I live in the now. I don't let food control my mood but I enjoy eating every morsel that goes in my mouth. I have faith that I know what's best for me and that with time the weight will continue to come off until I stabilise at a weight that is just right for me.
I hope this has interested you and I should also point out that this isn't a sponsored post. I bought my slimpod and my Beyond Chocolate book and nobody is paying me to write favourably about either company.