Peace of Cake and Mind

Although I haven't blogged about much in the last few months, I have purposely not blogged about weight loss or diet.

My reason?

I haven't been on one.

Do I feel guilty about this?

Hell no! It's been great.





What the hell am I thinking?

Finally, I have found some peace of mind. I think I have finally discovered the answers to which I have been searching for answers to for the past 12 years. So I felt it was time to share it with you and the rest of the Mumentum crew over at Liska's weight loss linky.

It all started with a man called Trevor. Some of us in the blogosphere know and love Trevor very much and go to bed with him every night. He is the voice of Thinking Slimmer. I bought a slim pod (a bit like a 10 minute hypnotherapy track) from them in July. I listened to it religiously and started to see changes in the way I felt and reacted around food. My goal from the beginning was not really about the weight but more about my control around food.

I often felt out of control around food. I would diet strictly and buy into the latest diet but the problem was that these diets all depended on some sort of willpower. The issue with willpower for me is that it is like an elastic band that gets stretched, tighter and tighter and tighter until SNAP.

When my willpower band inevitably snapped I would go on an almighty binge, eating enough to feel sick and I often was. I would feel incredibly guilty which would lead me then to eat for comfort with the mentality that I might as well fall of the wagon in style. It was very much an all or nothing approach.

So what  has changed?

Trevor was reprogramming my mind but I also came across two ladies whose ideas about weight loss and diets really spoke to me. Sophie and Audrey  are the two chocolate fairies who wrote a book and hold workshops under the title Beyond Chocolate. They speak of throwing away the diet books, ditching the exercise regimes and finding your inner guru. After all, who knows better than you when it comes to what is best for you? They offer wisdom from their own experience and from their experience of working with other women. They offer 10 principles which need not be seen as prescriptive but more suggestive. I won't go into the principles here but they have really helped me focus on small things I can do to regain my control around food. I eat when I am hungry, I eat what I want, I stop when I'm satisfied and I try to move my body in a way I find enjoyable everyday.

How much weight have I lost?

Absolutely none. So far. However, it's not about the weight loss. I have maintained my weight for quite a while now and I know that the excess weight was gained through binging after a diet and I have now broken that cycle. I am eating less but not feeling deprived. I am exercising more but not feeling under pressure. I know that if I continue as I am I will lose weight but the weight loss is simply a side effect of my regained control. Considering all I have going on in my life right now and every thing I have done since starting thinking slimmer and finding Beyond Chocolate, it's a miracle that I haven't piled on the pounds recently. I hope that when I move house and this settle down that the weight will start to shift.

What have I learned?

I have finally realised that I will be the same person I am now when I am thinner. I am a person who is worth more care than I have been giving myself over the past 12 years (since I started dieting). I should enjoy the life I'm living now instead of waiting for my life to start when I'm thinner. I live in the now. I don't let food control my mood but I enjoy eating every morsel that goes in my mouth. I have faith that I know what's best for me and that with time the weight will continue to come off until I stabilise at a weight that is just right for me.

I hope this has interested you and I should also point out that this isn't a sponsored post. I bought my slimpod and my Beyond Chocolate book and nobody is paying me to write favourably about either company.

Supersize Me

It's the second week of our holiday in Florida and I am already several inches wider than I was when I got here. It really isn't difficult to gain weight here. Obviously you treat yourself more when you are on holiday but that isn't the only problem. The thing about Florida that I have found is the abundance of good bad food and the lack of good good food.

I will explain . . .

We have been to several restaurants this week and although I haven't been overly conscious of my 'bad' food intake I do try and make sure that JC gets his 5 a day and doesn't eat too much junk. There really isn't much choice for a main meal beyond hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken tenders and pizza. All of which I am sure have enough salt in them to make you float.

The funny moment comes when I ask the waiter if I can have a fruit salad for JC. It's not on the menu but I don't see it as a huge ask. They look at me like I have just asked them for rare oysters with a side of candy floss but as they are so helpful in the U S of A the waiter offers to pop out to the local shop to get some for me! This wasn't a one off and I am extremely surprised by the lack of healthy options available for kids as well as adults.

I saw a little girl about 3 years old today who was shopping with her very overweight mother. I smiled at her then my eyes were drawn to her legs. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor wee soul who could barely walk as her legs were covered in thick rolls of fat. Her feet couldn't fit in her shoes properly and were bulging over the top. It was a hot day and she looked so uncomfortable. I can totally understand why people are overweight living here as the portions are enormous, the food deliciously unhealthy and the access to food is 24hours a day. However, you don't need to eat it all, you don't need to accept what is on the menu, the more people who demand healthier options the more available it will become. Sometimes I feel like the UK is a bit OTT when it comes to healthy eating but I'd rather have that than the supersize mentality that seems to be the norm here.

*disclaimer - this is based on my limited experience of Florida and the restaurants I have visited so I am generalising. There will, I'm sure, be healthier restaurants and not all American children are obese. I did visit a lovely restaurant tonight called Bahama Breeze who served JC with yummy broccoli and fruit salad (alongside some greasy chicken tenders but we will turn a blind eye to that!)

Check out the other weight loss related posts over at Liska's wonderful blog