I've had a right week of it, dealing with the less attractive attributes of people - and that is putting it politely. Now I'm not saying that my halo is sparkling, I am sure I have my faults which irritate and annoy people but I like to think I try my best.
Sometimes I wish to be a hermit who shuns the world and lives in a cave. I think that the benefits of cave living would be food for the soul for me at the moment.
I am a bit fed up with the negativity and bitchiness from a lot of people in my life. I am a runner (not in the fitness sense) and an escapist. When I was young I would disappear into a book and live an alternative life through the characters. It's hard to do that now as the world keeps pushing itself in and distracting me from the wonder of the text. It would be great to do a Shirley Valentine and just disappear but it's not as easy as that when you are a mum. You can't just run away. You have to stay and fight and work hard to give them the best experience of life you can whilst trying to protect them from the nastiness of people they will undoubtedly come across.
I fell into teaching by accident but prior to that I studied psychology as I have always been fascinated my human behaviour. Equally though, I have always been flabbergasted by how terribly we can treat each other.
Treat other people how you would like to be treated and you can't go too far wrong. Unless of course you are some sort of sadist.
I know how you feel Claire. Sometimes I just want to retreat into my shell or run away to a deserted island and catch fish from the beach.
ReplyDeleteI deactivated my Facbook last week as it was feeling very intrusive.
It's hard when you're a mum and others depend on you. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to just think about your own needs.
Not letting it get to you is the obvious solution but so much easier to say than do. I'm just distancing myself for a while as I re-group, hoping I come back with a clearer perspective.
All I want to do at the moment is rant and rave :)
I hope you find your way through this soon. x
I have OFTEN felt like running away lately and ever since I became a Mum.
ReplyDeleteI love Aaron to pieces, but I do get this sensation of needing to "run".
I can so relate to you on this one.
But you haven't actually said what happened?
Liska xx (still missing you) xx
Oh I so get you on this one..I was a runner pre-Alexander too, if people rubbed me up the wrong way or we had a fall out or my forwardness (which is a unchangeable trait of mines and something I see as part of who I am as you know) bothered someone enough for them to decide they couldn't stand me I would just brush it off and cut them out and move on. Unfortunately, now the wee fella is around and I have his feelings and relationships to consider which means having to tolerate people (who are supposed to be friends/family) berating me and making me feel rather dreadful. It's horrible isn't it!? I live in hope that when Alexander is old enough to make his own choices he will make his choices wisely and choose to spend time with people who accept him for who he is and not who they want him to be!
ReplyDeleteOch I think I'm going to go have a wee cry now!
Love Lynz