Last year I wrote the same blog post and found it easy. It was a really busy year. This year has been totally different. Much more chilled but here's my best bits...
1. Taming My Black Dog
At the age of 31 I decided it was time to start being who I want to be and not who I think I should be. I decided to get a tattoo on my wrist as a symbol of the changes I was making and I've contemplated breaking out the hair dye although the horrified look on my husband's face made me hold off, for now . I've started speaking up for myself and being more assertive.I make no apologies for being open about struggling with my mental health. People are entitled to share what they feel comfortable to share. I believe that hiding these issues makes it a taboo subject and adds to the shame and guilt you already feel for not coping as well as you feel you should. I've been in counselling a year come next week and I can wholeheartedly say it's the best thing I've ever done.
Taking 1 hour week, every week to focus on myself has allowed me to realise who I want to be, what is important to me and where I want to take my life next. It's been so positive for me and my family. I finally feel like myself again.
I managed to take part in a 365 project for longer than 100 days without giving up. It started as #100HappyDays but became so much more. I really enjoyed taking photos that made me smile that I've carried it on. I will hit the year mark in Feb. I'm proud of myself for sticking at it. I've taken some lovely photos over the year.
3. New Job, New Start
I was feeling brave. I loved my job before I left for maternity leave but I wanted to drop my hours for a better work life balance. My work couldn't accommodate me so I had to make a choice between staying where I was settled and happy but with full time hours or moving somewhere else for less hours and taking the risk that I would regret the move.
I've settled in well to my new digs and I'm so happy I made the decision to drop 2 days. I get time being mummy and being the old me who was work orientated and career driven. I'm not the same person anymore but it's nice to still keep a bit of that side of things alive.
4. Singing and Strumming
2014 saw me pick up the ukulele and actually play it. I took a course to qualify me to teach it in schools and I fell in love with this little piece of wood. Every time I play it I feel happy. It's the best remedy to a bad day.
I've been singing much more this year. I set up a duo with my friend Fee but circumstances found us filling in as lead singer in a resident band. We job share it so we can both keep a bit of weekend time with the family. It has worked well and I'm really pleased to be working again. We are focusing more on weddings next year but there is plenty work booked in.
5. Surviving a Great Loss
In March we lost our beloved dog Ruby. For a long time after I felt like a huge hole had been torn in my heart. I saw in her in shadows everywhere I looked in the house. She was an amazing dog, one of a kind. She is greatly missed but we survived and moved on. We remember her and honour her memory. We set her ashes free on a beautiful beach in Skye. We think of her when we laugh about her silly ways, when we talk about how Kaiya is gaining weight as she no longer has to compete for what Jamie drops from his high chair. We felt the loss of her this Christmas when we only put out 1 dog stocking. She wasn't just a dog. She was a member of our family and she lives on in our memories.
So here's to next year. I'm not making resolutions but im looking forward to writing this post next year and seeing how far I've come.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my posts. It's my 4th blogoversary today. Can't believe I have been blogging for 4 years. Thanks for giving me an audience for my ramblings xx