Saturday, 16 March 2013

Things I Forgot About Being Pregnant

I have just entered my 2nd trimester so by rights, I should have a blue peter badge for all the crap I've put up with over the past 12 weeks. Here is my own little list of things that I must have forgot about when I decided that I missed being pregnant . . .

  • Vomiting - there is nothing quite like having to stop the car to puke at the side of the road, classy. 
  • Nose like a Basset hound - I can smell a Mc Donalds within a 5 mile radius, it's a gift. The smell of dirty hands causes me to gag but the smell of rubber is pleasantly appealing. This new super sense can be problematic. For example, sitting through an 8 hour course and all you can smell are the feet of the person to your right. 
  • Tiredness - So much so, you don't even realise you are tired until you do that nodding dog thing or someone rudely awakens you an hour later. 
  • Potty Mouth - everything you eat leaves an ugly after taste, even toothpaste. 
  • The Little Voices - there is the constant chatter or what ifs or should, would, coulds that drive you to distraction and keep you up at night. 
  • Zero Sex Drive - the thought is as appealing as ice fishing whilst naked. 
  • Broken Thermostat - from hot sweaty boobs to chittering with 2 jerseys and a coat on. 
  • Sensitive Gums - bye bye crunchy crisps.
  • There's an app for that - the compulsive need to check baby apps to see what body part you are growing this week. "ooh, week 9 is balls all round with eyeballs and testicles developing. 
  • Horror Mones - a permeating bolshiness overriding everything I do and say.  
  • Sweet Dreams - I think not! Waking up in the morning either in floods of tears or with uncontrollable rage due to the vividness of last nights dream. He is in for it for the rest of the day! 
  • Cravings - watermelon is delicious, especially when paired with pickled onions and raw lemons.
  • Persistent Peeing - I fear I might dehydrate. 
  • Acne - mostly on my scalp and back, how attractive.
  • Compulsive Crying - adverts about things like paint or washing powder get me going.
On that note, this post is really quite a pity party, I'm going to go cry in a corner somewhere. Roll on the blooming stage of trimester 2. It's really about time I was glowing!

I also forgot that I will look as big as whale in a few months . . .


  1. sorry, i did laugh. i had most of that going on, so quick to forget after your first.x

  2. Oh, I really enjoyed these, especially because
    a) They are true and
    b) they are not me and
    c) Congratulations!!
    ps. Have you forgotten the haemorrhoids?

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  4. Hope you're keeping better now xx


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