After recovering from my illness last week I didn't go straight back on 'the plan' but I wasn't out of control. I felt thinner and was eating well but healthily. I went to my weigh in class on Wednesday and although I had lost weight I hadn't lost as much as I had planned too. The class consultant made me feel really bad and 'shamed' me in front of the class. I told her it would be a hard weekend for me as I had a wedding to go to but that I would try. She totally ignored me and set a target of 2lbs off for me this week. I left feeling really shitty and down about it all. So I handled it the only way I know how, a good old binge! I ate a whole bag of Galaxy counters in the car on my way home. I like to eat secretly in the car, it's my thing. I then like to hide the
What is working and what isn't working?
Nothing I have done in the last week is working. I have fallen into the same trap of dieting that I always fall into. I should know myself well enough by now to know that I can't stick to diets. I'm rubbish at them and they just perpetuates my feelings of inadequacy and failure.
What has worked in the past?
The only time I have ever had weightloss success in my entire life was when I stopped dieting. When I was pregnant I stopped dieting and ate what I wanted, when I wanted it and I lost loads of weight without even trying. I felt great about myself and could easily have chocolate, crisps and other 'sinful' foods in the house but I never binged on them. I didn't have to because they were always going to be there for me if I really wanted them. When I diet I tend to eat the contents of my cupboards because I won't be allowed them tomorrow. What kind of twisted logic is that?
What will I focus on this week?
I am giving up on the 'diet' and focussing on the exercise. I like to exercise and I look forward to it so now that I am feeling better I have no excuse.
When I gave birth to JC I had brilliant success with hypnotherapy. I was completely calm and strangely silent throughout the whole labour and birth. I am very suggestable! I am the type of person who breaks their legs trying to get to the shops to buy a Perle de Lait yoghurt after seeing the advert on tele. So I am going to try the Paul McKenna approach. I will listen to his CD every day and follow his 4 Golden Rules
1. When I am hungry I will eat
2. I will eat what I want to eat
3. I will eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
4. When I am full I will stop eating
What have I achieved so far?
Not much but I feel I am achieving a sense of perspective. I think that I am realising that there is no point in doing what I have always done because I have been dieting since I was 16 and I have only got bigger! I had a wonderful time at the wedding at the weekend and despite not having a great week I didn't feel fat and frumpy. I even went without covering up under a cardigan (which I hate but I always end up wearing because I hate my flabby arms!). Here are some snaps