Cutting the Yo-yo Dieting String

Can't believe it's been another week already! It's Monday Mum Tum link up time again and Liska, who hosts this linky, has set us some questions to get us thinking about how our week has gone. You can head over here to read about the other girls who are taking part in losing weight. In some ways I haven't had a good week and in other ways it has been enlightening! Here's a run down of my week . . .

After recovering from my illness last week I didn't go straight back on 'the plan' but I wasn't out of control. I felt thinner and was eating well but healthily. I went to my weigh in class on Wednesday and although I had lost weight I hadn't lost as much as I had planned too. The class consultant made me feel really bad and 'shamed' me in front of the class. I told her it would be a hard weekend for me as I had a wedding to go to but that I would try. She totally ignored me and set a target of 2lbs off for me this week. I left feeling really shitty and down about it all. So I handled it the only way I know how, a good old binge! I ate a whole bag of Galaxy counters in the car on my way home. I like to eat secretly in the car, it's my thing. I then like to hide the evidence wrappers in the outdoor bin. I fool myself that I am hiding it from my husband but to be honest he probably doesn't care. I am really hiding it from myself as I am terribly embarrassed about my lack of control! I continued eating until I felt better about the awful Wednesday night until Thursday teatime, when I felt I had done enough damage and that it was time to stop. I have been off the plan since then and I have decided not to go back. I am changing 'The Plan'. I will address my new plan in Liska's questions . . .

What is working and what isn't working?
Nothing I have done in the last week is working. I have fallen into the same trap of dieting that I always fall into. I should know myself well enough by now to know that I can't stick to diets. I'm rubbish at them and they just perpetuates my feelings of inadequacy and failure.

What has worked in the past?
The only time I have ever had weightloss success in my entire life was when I stopped dieting. When I was pregnant I stopped dieting and ate what I wanted, when I wanted it and I lost loads of weight without even trying.  I felt great about myself and could easily have chocolate, crisps and other 'sinful' foods in the house but I never binged on them. I didn't have to because they were always going to be there for me if I really wanted them. When I diet I tend to eat the contents of my cupboards because I won't be allowed them tomorrow. What kind of twisted logic is that?

What will I focus on this week?
I am giving up on the 'diet' and focussing on the exercise. I like to exercise and I look forward to it so now that I am feeling better I have no excuse.

When I gave birth to JC I had brilliant success with hypnotherapy. I was completely calm and strangely silent throughout the whole labour and birth. I am very suggestable! I am the type of person who breaks their legs trying to get to the shops to buy a Perle de Lait yoghurt after seeing the advert on tele. So I am going to try the Paul McKenna approach. I will listen to his CD every day and follow his 4 Golden Rules
1. When I am hungry I will eat
2. I will eat what I want to eat
3. I will eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
4. When I am full I will stop eating

What have I achieved so far?
Not much but I feel I am achieving a sense of perspective. I think that I am realising that there is no point in doing what I have always done because I have been dieting since I was 16 and I have only got bigger! I had a wonderful time at the wedding at the weekend and despite not having a great week I didn't feel fat and frumpy. I even went without covering up under a cardigan (which I hate but I always end up wearing because I hate my flabby arms!). Here are some snaps