Nickie at Typecast is trying to raise awareness of a charity called CLIC Sargent. They are a charity working all over the UK to support children with cancer and their families. They are running a Yummy Mummy campaign and Nickie is supporting them by hosting a writing linky to help raise awareness. I have decided to take part as I think they are such a wonderful charity. The writing prompt this week is: What Your Children Mean To You, here is my attempt.
I was always career driven. Obsessed even. I liked to feel like I was striving further and higher than anybody else. In hindsight, I was probably very annoying. I married my high school sweetheart when we turned 26 after 10 years of being together. Before the wedding I was adamant that I wasn't planning on starting a family for at least a few years. Maybe when I was nearer to 30. I love travelling and thought that having a child would drastically alter my lifestyle and that I would take exception to this.
A week after the wedding, when we were having dinner, I just blurted out 'I think I want to have a baby'. I don't know where this came from because it had never crossed my mind before. I was even more surprised when my hubby, who honestly would admit that he was not the most mature of men at the time, said 'me too'. I was flabbergasted. Although it was a split second decision it took a year for me to fall pregnant so we had plenty of time to get used to the idea.
I always tear up when I think about it. The moment I held him in my arms for the first time. I don't even know how to put the feeling into words. It was like a rush of love and devotion mixed with fear and uncertainty. I didn't cry at the time. I couldn't stop smiling. Here was the baby that we had waited to meet for 9 months but wanted for longer. He was beautiful. I didn't sleep the first night in hospital. I just watched him sleep. I couldn't take my eyes off him. His peaceful face, full of innocence, was a blank canvas for which the world would in time make it's mark upon but in that moment he was mine, a pure soul.
So to answer the question of what he means to me. He means everything. The thoughts of career, travel, music and the life I had before have faded. I no longer think about what was or what would have been had I not decided to have children. I only think of how much richer my life is with him in it.
I think about the challenges we might face in the future and his health is always one of my biggest fears. I cannot begin to imagine how devastating it must be for a parent to have their child diagnosed with cancer. I think that charities such as CLIC Sargent are doing amazing work to support families going through this. We lost a child in our school last year to cancer, a primary 1. We are working on ideas for a memorial for her in our school garden, something with beautiful flowers as she loved nature and like flowers, she brightened up the world around her.